* the orchids delight… by National Orchid Garden, Singapore

Since 1859, orchids have been closely associated with the Singapore Botanic Garden. The products of the Gardens’ orchid breeding programme, which began in 1928, deserve a place where they can be displayed in their full splendor. The very design of these orchids is, one could say, “hand-crafted” by the Gardens’ horticultural staff, dedicated to bringing out the finest in any hybrid cross…

To me, the National Orchid Garden has put up the best nature show that I have ever seen.  The richness and the diversity of colors displayed by this wide variety of hybrid orchids are emotionally soothing and spiritually enchanting. They look elegant from far, and sensually stimulating when seen up-closed.  The myriad of orchid blooms produce a wide spectrum of spectacular lights illuminating the entire floralscape.  However, it is sometimes beyond the capacity of our naked eyes to really appreciate the true splendor of these divine flowers.  Hence viewing of this show is perhaps best through a pair of good lens, and here I shall share this enchanting moment which has captivated me throughout the entire three hours’ journey I had in this balmy atmosphere of a secluded tropical garden with you. The show which I have named “the orchids delight…”, features a wide variety of personalities, dressed in their native colorful costumes and makeup, either solo or in groups; some are stunning, some are subtle; some are patterned, some are unadorned; some are intricate, some are simple.  All in all, it has just been an exhilarating and breath taking journey…

My take away from the show is “don’t believe what you cannot see. What we can not see, or understand, is not necessarily non existence…”

* lack of love – the wisdom from nature…

lack of love…

Many of our challenges and sufferings today are related to love, to be precise is due to the “lack of love”.

The cleaner dreads her day, feels ashamed, and lacks motivation and creativity to keep the place clean. She does not have the feeling and love for the place and for the people who are working or living there.  Consequently, she perceives, unconsciously, that a clean and tidy environment is not needed and that they do not deserve her efforts to keep the place clean. If she loves the place and the people who work and live there, she would have harnessed a lot of cosmos energy and creativities to find a better way to make the place clean and tidy. She would have found the noble meaning to serve those people whom she believes would benefit from her efforts.

inability to love…

Many of our complex emotional issues, disorders or illnesses today stems from our inability to love and to receive love, the real love. This inability is the result of our human behavioral evolution and domestication process that started a long time ago when our human society needed a system for all human-beings to survive, and to live together in a coherent manner – hence the birth of morality and legal systems.

birth of morality…

The moral and legal standards and definitions did not arise out of consciousness or love by the Pharisees, the puritans, the scribes or the pundits. Their definitions have arisen out of the legal court. Just like adultery, the meaning – the ordinary meaning – of which is “to make love to a woman you are not married to.” But the real meaning of adultery is “making love to someone whom you are not in love with. She may be your own wife, but if you are not in love with her, then making love to her is adultery.”[1]

Many of our moral teachings today are based on fear, but dressed in the cloth of love. When our parents told us to study hard, they have always reiterated that it is due to their love for us, of not wanting us to follow the same path that has led to their sufferings … was it out of fear or out of love…? When we got married, was it because we really loved that person and wanted to be with that person unconditionally, or was it because of our fear of losing that person, whom we perceived as capable of providing a shelter, the emotional needs and happiness for us…?

Having said all that, I would like to reiterate that it is not our parents’, teachers’ and relatives’ conscious intention to domesticate us in this manner, the manner that is driven by fear in the cloth of love.  It was just that no one has ever shown them how to love, and the meaning of real love.[2]

learning to love…

To really learn how to love and experience love, we must all “selfishly” learn to love ourselves and fill ourselves with all the loves that we deserve. Learn it from nature, because nature is still communicating in the language of love. Once we’ve understood “what is love” and the “feeling of love”, we can then go on to share our love with our parents, children, brothers and sisters, friends and the one we want to spend our life with. That is the real cycle of love.

Once we have experienced “real love”, we will experience life changing events, and we will feel peace and being showered with good energy from the cosmos universe. There will not be any guilt, jealousy or envy which are primarily responsible for creating those pains, hurts and sufferings that we are experiencing now. Though we may come across the occasional storm, and some emotional ripples later in our peaceful life, do not over-react, because it is just the way nature reminds us of the value of real love.

taken for a free ride…

As such, the notion of “taken for a free ride” will disappear, and we will feel at ease and feel blessed for being alive, everyday and the day ever after ….

---

[1] Reference from “The ABC of Enlightment” by OSHO.

[2] Refer to my other article on “what is real love” for details…

* the only thing that matters is…

“I don’t think of the past. The only thing that matters is the everlasting present..” – W. Somerset Maugham

* failure is not necessarily…

“Failure is not necessarily at the end of the road. Many times it is the beginning of a new and more exciting trip…” – Zig Ziglar

* our challenge is…

“Our challenge is to learn from the past; live and grow in the present, and look to the future with hope and optimism…” – Zig Ziglar

* how the character is built…

“People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built…”- Eleanor Roosevelt

* It’s not how much you have…

“It’s not how much you have but how well you use what you have that counts…” – Zig Ziglar

* Courage is resistance to fear…

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear; not absence of fear.”- by Mark Twain

* Personality has the power to open doors…

“Personality has the power to open doors, but it takes character to keep them open.” – Zig Ziglar

* there is no royal road in life…

“There is no royal road to anything. One thing at a time, all things in succession. That which grows fast withers as rapidly; that which grows slowly endures.” – Josiah G Holland

* Why must we go thru the same life lesson again and again…

          The same life episode seems to unfold itself repeatedly despite our efforts in sieving out the learning points. Why is that so? Why does nature always seems to put us through the same mode of suffering again and again….. why is she (the nature) so cruel?

 

          Everything happens for a reason….

 

          Some may blame it to a streak of bad luck; some may resort to fate. Whatever the case, most likely reason is that we have not learnt the right lessons in life for us to grow to our fullest authentic self.

 

          Each time when an episode is unfolding right before our eyes, there seem to have zillions of lessons we thought we knew and we tell ourselves to be wiser the next time. However, if we examine the things we thought we knew each time, we would  find ‘blames’ all over the things that we thought we ought to learn. An example of such episode is when we fall out of a relationship and we blame the person we once lovingly fell-for for being selfish, lack of commitment, lack of communication, or being stupid. Sometimes we blame ourselves for being involved with a married person… so was it the right lesson that the nature wanted us to learn? Will those blames that we’d learnt ever able to get us to our fullest authentic self? Have we ever thought of why we got into this relationship, if we have not, perhaps it is time for us to reflect upon it and ask ourselves that when we got into relationship is it because it is part of the marriage process? Or is it for us to find someone whom can give us the unconditional spiritual motivation to grow to our fullest authentic self?

 

          Nature has a way to remind us, the superior human being, of a basic principle associate with the law of nature, that is every living thing on earth will need to grow to our best authentic self and fulfill our primary mission of reproduction in any given circumstances.

 

          If we learn the right essence in life from each unfortunate episode, it will inspire us and motivate us to look forward to the future. For people who are willing to learn, life is an ultimate nurturing place, and the learning will define and clarify the true course to our life journey. Every time when we discover something that did not work out for us, it brings us a step closer to where we wanted to go in life. We should not have trouble being who we are, or finding the need to gain approval to pursue a livelihood or hold a network of relationship intact.

 

 

          Do we still believe in the old thought of in order to survive in this world, we have to wear a mask?

 

         Usually it is not that we did not learn our lesson well, but it is because we did not learn the right lessons. We tend to be very judgmental and quick to put blames on anything to justify for the failure or inaction.

          So what are the right lessons that we suppose to learn?

 

          Mira Kirshenbaum, the author of the book “Everything happens for a reason: Finding the true meaning of the events in our lives”, has discovered the ten common reasons that most of us needed in order to grow to our fullest authentic self.

 

 

 

          The ten common reasons for us to learn from each episode that unfold in our lives are:

 

 

1. To help us feel at home in the world.
2. To help us totally accept ourselves.
3. To show us that we can let go of fear.
4. To bring us to the place where we can feel forgiveness.
5. To help us uncover our true hidden talent.
6. To give what you need to find true love.
7. To help us become stronger.
8. To help us discover the play in life.
9. To show us how to live with a sense of mission.
10. To help us become a truly good person.

          Mira Kirshenbaum also recommended some diagnostic questions in her book to help us see the reasons that we ought to learn clearly when something happened to us that was big  enough to leave us hungry to understand its meaning.  If we answer “yes” to majority of these questions listed in that particular reason, that would be one of the reasons that things happen that way (for us to learn).

Reason 1:  To help us feel at home in the world.

 

• Would you describe yourself as a restless soul?
• In high / secondary school, did you have a hard time fitting in?
• Is there some secret, private part of you that you haven’t feel comfortable showing anyone?
• When you see people who seem to really belong somewhere – people live in a small town, or people who come from a tight-knit family – do you envy them?
• Have you felt that you’ve been looking for something in life for a long time but you’re not quite sure what you’re looking for?

 

Reason 2:  To help us totally accept ourselves

 

• Would you say that you’ve live your life overly concerned with what other people and what they think is important?
• Does it seem like you’ve always trying to change things about yourself without making much long term progress?
• Are you afraid to tell people close to you what you want?
• Do you often feel like someone who doesn’t matter, or do you often let a person treat you like someone who doesn’t matter?
• Do you feel that if people knew the real you, they wouldn’t like you?
• Do you have a clear dream of something you want to do or a way you want to live, based on what’s most important to you, that you’ve not doing anything to make it come true?

Reason 3: To show us that we can let go of fear

 

• Is it hard for you to trust yourself to deal with new situation?
• Think about a couple of the things you’ve done in your life that you regret. Was the main reason you did those things because you were acting out of fear?
• When you make a decision, is fear an important factor that you weigh in the balance?
• Would you say that your life is filled with things you’ve scare of?

 

Reason 4: To bring us to the place where we can feel forgiveness.

 

• Do you think a lot about some of the ways you’ve been hurt or about disappointments you’ve suffered in the past?
• Do you get angry a lot or have you been holding onto your anger for a long time?
• Is feeling guilty very much an issue for you?
• Do you spend time having “if only” fantasies where you think about how your life would be different now if you or someone else had done things differently in the past?
• Do you often feel envious?
• In some important way, do you not feel safe or secure in your life?

Reason 5: To help you uncover your true hidden talent

 

• Have you felt for a long time that you’re bigger than you life or better than the circumstances you find yourself in?
• Have you always suspected or wished you were special?
• When you were growing up, did you often feel disparaged for you intelligence or abilities?
• Have you found yourself saying no to opportunities because you’re afraid you don’t have what it takes to handle them?
• Do you feel that when you were younger you had talents or abilities that you’re not in touch with now?

 

Reason 6: To give you what you need to find true love

 

• Do you feel that you’ve made more than your share of mistakes when it comes to love?
• Are you afraid you’re unlovable?
• Have you too often felt that you haven’t found real love? (You may have had plenty of relationships, bout you haven’t found the kind of love you need in those relationships.)
• Have you too often felt lonely in your life?
• Have you ever lost a great relationship filled with the possibility of love because you didn’t value it, nurture it, give time and your best self to it?
• Is it usually hard fro you to be yourself in your relationships?

Reason 7: To help you become stronger

 

• Have you had more than your share of loss in your life?
• Has low self-esteem been an issue for you?
• Do you have trouble identifying things in your life that can’t be taken away from you?
• Has it been you experience that most thins in life are impermanent – relationship, friends, jobs, and so on?
• Do you feel you’re under serious threat of losing what you have?
• Are you hungry to have something in your life that you’re really good at?
• Have you felt there’s something important missing at your core?
• Do you feel that your ability to move forward into your future is blocked?

 

Reason 8: To help you to discover the play in your life

 

• Enjoy life often means allowing ourselves to get pleasure from our lives exactly as they are. But sometimes the only way to do that is to stop taking so seriously the very things that rob us of pleasure. I am talking about the worries, ambitions, obsessions, confusions, distractions, and stresses that suck the blood out of enjoyment of what should be happy life.

 

Why for many people, enjoying life is a complicated issue…  

• Due to wrong message or wrong experiences.
• It brings worries. 
• Because it touches a deep part of the self.
• If you’re enjoying life, then you’re not taking care of the business
• It brings up guilt – you don’t deserve to enjoy life
• It brings up insecurity – you don’t have the inner resources necessary for enjoy life
• Enjoyment is the food for motivation. When you don’t enjoy yourself, your sense of being motivated gradually withers.

Reason 9: To show you how to live with a sense of mission.

 

• Have you always had in the back of your mind a desire to make a sacrifice for something you believe in?
• Growing up, did you get the message that you have to do something big and important with you life?
• Do you sometimes feel you have to justify your existence, as if just living you life and not hurting anyone weren’t enough?
• Is feeling proud of yourself something that matters a great deal to you? And when you think of feeling proud of yourself, does it always feel connected to doing something that will make a difference?
• Have your heroes typically been people whose lives are defined by the intensity with which they lived or how they stood up for what they believe in?

 

Reason 10: To help you to become a truly good person

 

• Have you experienced loss or pain in your life both because you’ve been mistreated and because you’ve mistreated others?

* Understanding the secret in achieving peace of mind and more…

 

          We often live through life without knowing the life processes that we will have to go through. Our birth did not come with a User manual or an Operation manual to explain to us how to live our life.

          That explain why we are feeling the way we feel today. The results of this ignorance are confusion, lost and stress.

          If we examine closely, it usually has to do with relationship; relationships with our spouses, our children, our parent, our relatives, our colleagues, our bosses, our friends and even the strangers.

          Why is that so?

          If we study the history of our human survival, we will realize that since the existence of mankind, we can’t live alone in isolation. Our strength besides being Intellectual and hard work, is our ability to stay together and progress as a community. As a group we successfully weather through all kind of adversaries and obstacles in our human journey.

          Community living requires a good deal of inter-personal skill. In Zhineng Qigong Science, professor Pang Ming Laoshi (the founder of Zhineng Qigong) could not stress enough for us to understand the principles of Dao (道) Te (德).

          What Is Dao (道) Te (德) got to do with Qigong?

          Zhineng qigong is not about gongfu. It is about achieving a peace of mind through linking our Qi, our mind and our body together as one. Once we have achieve that harmony, our body immune system will be improved, our senses will be sharpened, and intellect will be enhanced, and we will have the clarity and the peace of mind in our daily living.

          In order to achieve the harmony of Qi, body and mind, we must not just practice the method of Zhineng Qigong alone; we must also understand our fundamental, which is Dao Te (道德).

          There are 4 type of Dao Te in Zhineng Qigong science.

1. Nature Dao Te (The law of Nature – 自然道德).
2. Social Dao Te (The law of Social Living – 社會道德)
3. Nature-Social Dao Te (The law of Transition – 自然社會道德)
4. Social Freedom Dao Te (The law of Enlightenment – 社會自由道德)

          These 4 laws govern our human growth processes from the onset when the sperm meet the egg, from the birth till death. The law of Nature and the law of Social living are the fundamental governing law of our well-being; whereas the law of Transition is talking about the transition period from Nature to Social Living. And the law of Enlightenment is through practicing of Zhineng qigong to free our thought from greed, disturbances, and eliminate the demarcation of self and others. This stage requires a clear understanding and application of the first 3 laws.

          I will briefly explain the two fundamental laws – the law of Nature and the law of Social Living – that govern our well being.

 

The Law of Nature (Nature Dao Te)

          Before we understand the law of nature, we need to understand how the Nature is being formed.

          All things in the universe, visible or invisible, are the manifestations of Dao. Dao is the source of all matter that makes up the universe. The appearance of disintegration of matter (birth, death etc) is the transmutation (concentration or dispersal) of Dao. Dao exists in and permeates everything.

          The Universe and nature are one entity. Within the entity, there are numerous levels of materials, which permeate and transmute each other. Through actions and interactions of these materials, billions of things emerge to form the universe.

 

Formless entity

          There are 3 levels of formless or invisible entities:

1st Level: is the highest level and it is formed by Dao, nicked name Emptiness, or also known as Wan Yuan Qi.

2nd Level: is evolved by Dao. It is known as Tai Yi, also known as Tai Zi or Yuan Qi.

3rd Level: is the lowest level of formless entity, and it is evolved by Tai Yi. It is also known as Ying-Yang or Ying-Yang qi. It has two polarity which is opposite from each other.

          All things which are subsequently evolved and formed by Ying-Yang qi are visible, it is also known as Form entity.

          Dao itself can be of motionless property, but once it is being disturbed, it permeates and joins the source of disturbances. And will finally adopt a new property from the source.

 

Form entity

          Form entities are referring to all visible things in the universe, such as Stars, planets, Mountain, ocean, trees, plants, flowers, animals and all other things in the universe.

          In the law of Nature, all organic things, plant or animal, will have to grow and transform through exchange of property with other substance.

          All things that are evolved under the law of Nature are “Natural” process. There is no intention or force; it is through their own natural (Dao Te) process of growth, evolution and motion. There is no purposeful intent or objective to the action. It is entirely thoughtless automatic natural process.

        Take for example, the seed of the apple, when in contact with water, nutrient and sun light, it will grow into an apple tree, and bear apples for the next generation. These series of processes are ‘natural’, i.e. thoughtless, and effortless with no purposeful intent or whatsoever. In this growing process, it also contributed to many others living things, such as the dropping leaves become the fertilizer for other plant to grow; the tree provides shade for all living creatures; the ripen apples as the food for human and other creatures to eat etc, are not the service provided by the apple. It is also not about selfless or selfish act. It is entirely ‘natural’ in compliance with the law of Nature. It is effortless with no control or manipulation.

          In summary, the law of Nature is:

1. To enable each human being and its function to coexist with other things in the universe.
2. To ensure the processes within oneself is in alignment with others to provide a wholesome completion of a bigger process within the universe (the biggest picture)
3. To ensure each and individual body and its function is in compliance of the law of nature in the universe. Its changes are passively processed and dictated by the same rule, so that the entire universe can be functioned and existed as one.

 

The Law of Social Living

          The law of Social living (Social Dao Te) is exclusively for human being.

          Human is the supreme intelligent creature on earth. He has the ability to think, observe, emulate and invent things to change the world. These behaviors and values can only realize when he combines the thoughts, knowledge, languages, with the process of social interaction through people, in order to bring forth to reality.

          Human is a community living creature. In order to live in harmony and preserved the values of all man kind, the law of Social Living is necessary.

          The law of Social Living is the processes dictated by the society to deal with people and people relationships. Hence each individual body and its function will have to comply with the law of Social Living to enable the entire community and society to exist as a whole.

          If a child since birth has not gone into human society or community to learn, he would not process the value of the human being. Hence he will remain in the Nature-stage and it is very difficult to assimilate into the community and function well.

          What are the processes of the human cycle?

          The processes from the moment the sperm meets the egg, till child birth, are entirely governed by the Law of Nature. That is to say, the crying, sucking of milk, breathing, passing of urine and motion are the processes of the law of Nature.

          In this stage, there is no right or wrong, happy or sad; no good or bad, ugly or beautiful, self or others; and no yours or mine concept. The baby’s mind is highly open and receptive to surrounding for learning.

          As the child started to expose to the law of Social Living, he will slowly learn to deal with people, started to form the concept of good and bad, yours or mine etc through parent, siblings, teachers and the community teaching and preaching.

          Hence the law of Social Living is not born with it, it is cultivated through the processes of cultural education, the law and regulations enforcement. And over the years, it slowly evolves and shapes the community behaviors and values to become the law of Social Living in that society or community.

 

In summary

          Human beings are subjected to the law of nature and the law of Social Living. The former is being the foundation; it provides the root in all living things.

          The law of nature is about the individual, whereas the law of Social living is about dealing with people in the community. Hence if we want to be happy we must understand the law of nature, if we want to be successful in the society we need to be conversant with the law of Society Living.

          Most of us trying to achieve happiness through the processes of law of Social Living, thinking that if I am good to others and be kind to others, I will be truly happy. That is true to only certain extent. Those fulfillments and achievements only provide short term happiness. The true peace of mind is achieving through understanding and compliance with the law of nature and the law of Social Living. We need to have both in order to be truly happy in the human world.

 

* selfish vs selfless…

The guru’s definition of Selfish & Selfless…

Self-ishness denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one’s own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others. Selfishness is the opposite of altruism (Self-lessness).

The implications of selfishness have inspired divergent views within religious, philosophical, psychological, economic and evolutionary contexts.

Self-lessness is the act of sacrificing ones own interest for the greater good.

Altruism is having regard for others, both natural and moral, devotion to the interests of others; It is a traditional virtue in many cultures, and central to many religious traditions. This idea was often described as the Golden rule of ethics. Altruism is the opposite of self-ishness.

Altruism can be distinguished from feelings of loyalty and duty. Altruism focuses on a motivation to help others or a want to do good without reward, while duty focuses on a moral obligation towards a specific individual (for example, God, a king), a specific organization (for example, a government), or an abstract concept (for example, patriotism etc). Some individuals may feel both altruism and duty, while others may not. Pure altruism is giving without regard to reward or the benefits of recognition.

The concept has a long history in philosophical and ethical thought, and has more recently become a topic for psychologists (especially evolutionary psychology researchers), sociologists, evolutionary biologists, and etiologists. While ideas about altruism from one field can have an impact on the other fields, the different methods and focuses of these fields lead to different perspectives on altruism. Researches on altruism were sparked in particular after the murder of Kitty Genovese in 1964, who was stabbed during half an hour, with passive witnesses withholding themselves from helping her.

Why are we selfish or selfless?

We do everything for a reason – everything we do is done because it is what we WANT to do or else we wouldn’t do it. Therefore all of our actions are working towards the satisfaction of our desires, be it to seek pleasure or to avoid pain. The school of thought is that the reason people do good things is because it feels good to do so and is therefore, like everything else, is a selfish act. There are selfish acts that help others and those that harm others (traditional understanding of the word ‘selfish’) Sometimes people want to help each other because they know that if they don’t they will be chastised later, or they know that they will receive praise or gifts if they do. Other times people do good or selfless things just because it feels good, but why? Why does it feel good to help others and feel bad to not help them?

Ayn Rand’s Philosophy on Objectivitism has brought another interesting perspective to selfishness of mankind.

Objectivism (Ayn Rand) is a philosophy developed by Ayn Rand in the 20th century that encompasses positions on metaphysics, epistemology, ethics, politics, and aesthetics.

The philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute.

— Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged 35th anniversary edition

Ayn Rand characterized Objectivism as a philosophy for living on earth, grounded in reality, and aimed at defining man’s nature and the nature of the world in which he lives. Rand presented her philosophy through her novels The Fountainhead, Atlas Shrugged, and other works. She elaborated on her ideas in The Objectivist Newsletter, The Objectivist, The Ayn Rand Letter, Introduction to Objectivist Epistemology, and other non-fiction books.

Objectivism holds that reality exists independent from consciousness; that individual persons are in contact with this reality through sensory perception; that human beings can gain objective knowledge from perception through the process of concept formation; that the proper moral purpose of one’s life is the pursuit of one’s own happiness or rational self-interest; that the only social system consistent with this morality is full respect for individual rights, embodied in pure, consensual laissez-faire capitalism; and that the role of art in human life is to transform man’s widest metaphysical ideas, by selective reproduction of reality, into a physical form — a work of art — that he can comprehend and respond to.

My personal thought on the subject is that being selfish or selfless are two extreme oppose characteristics that most of us, the ordinary people, will not be happy if we only possess one behavior all the time, either absolutely selfish or selfless. For example, how many of us can stay happy to be a truly selfless person like Buddha or Jesus?

Being selfish or selfless behavior is closely associated with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It is a natural survival behavior or instinct that for people who are struggling to make ends meet are less likely to exhibit Selfless behavior; people who are contented and comfortable in the upper level of hierarchy are more likely to share, and more inclined to exhibit selflessness behavior.

Again, no one will know, except ourselves if we are truly a selfless or a selfish person. To pass our judgment based on third party observation can be deceiving, because this selfless or selfish behavior is about our inner-self and thoughts. We can only guess or assume others’ thoughts based on the observable behaviors on the surface, but still an association, and it is not an absolute truth. Hence don’t judge people, if we do, most probably we are wrong. A Self-ish act can be good, and a Self-less act can be deceiving too.

To me, being selfish or being selfless in the world we live in today, has to be carefully balance in context dependant upon the situation we are in. Therefore, how well and happy we live our life, or how successful we do our daily routines, is not about being selfish or selfless, but more so dependant upon how well we know ourselves (the purpose and values); how well we appraise the situation around us; and how well we use our acquired skills to balance it. And all these will not be possible also if we are not sensually connected, confident and competent.

To live a balance, meaningful, and a happy life, I am more inclined to advocate a good balance of the two. For example, if we are, by nature, a more self-ish person, we need to consciously cultivate and nourish the right amount of self-lessness in us. In the theory of “YinYang”, it simply means “Self-LESS within a self-ISH entity”. Vice verse is also true.

Well, by far this is a very complex subject, where the gurus of the past and present have many different thoughts and disagreement upon the issues. Hence I would encourage the ordinary people like us not to waste our precious times and energy to decide something where the gurus can’t even synthesized.

Hence, moving on with our life journey ahead, start to self-ishly focus on developing ourselves, know who we are, and what are we here for, until we reach a level where we’re competent enough to self-lessly share and add value to others and/or the environment around us.

Never stop learning about ourselves and the environment around us; as life is a journey not a destination; the people and the environment around us are constantly changing too; the day we stop learning, it is the day we die, either we are buried or not, it doesn’t matter.

There are more of the “living dead” around us then we think. Hence don’t be influenced by these “living dead”, go on to live our life by treasuring every present moment that we have, and live our day to the fullest, and stay happy.

* What we need to be truly wealthy – the Five Pillars of health….

I always believe that to be truly wealthy, we must have the 5 pillars of health. Any absences of these pillars will hindrance our happiness in life.

· Physical health

This is essential to maintain our bodily functions to support our chosen lifestyle.

· Spiritual health

This is to enable us to achieve simplicity and clarity in life by keeping intimately in touch with our inner-self.

· Financial health

This is to enable us to do the things we want to do in life.

· Sexual health

This is to enhance our sensuality by developing and sharpening our 5 senses through intimacy connection & exploration.

· Social health

This is to enable us to be useful to our society that we live in; take every opportunity to develop friendship and relationship with people around us; and add value to others whenever we can.

* Never bow to adversary….. the stories of the Koi and Laurentia Tan.

The Koi’s Story

There was this small little Koi pond at the back of my office where I always go to relax my mind and practice my Zhineng Qigong. The sound of the water falling, and the sight of those beautiful and colorful Kois swimming nonchalantly in the water, had this special soothing soul massaging effect on me.

One day, as usual, when I was at the pond getting ready to feed the Kois; to my horror, I saw one of the Koi was afloat on top of the water filter element and laying there hopelessly gasping for air.

I quickly looked for a scooping fish-net nearby to get her back to the main pond; but she was too weak to swim and could only managed to struggle to stay afloat on the surface.

Next day when I visited the pond, to the worst of my horror, her dorsal fin and tail fin were all rotten and gone. The hungry little guppies, took advantage of her motionless body, and nibbled all her dorsal and tail fins away, just like eating the delicacy of the shark fins soup…..

So I found a big net to isolate her from the rest of the fishes by the corner of the pond. And I started to look for a possible burial ground.

I came in early the next day, to my surprised, she was still alive and struggling to move around in the pond.

As days went by, she began to have the desire for food; but she was not able to aim her mouth towards the food accurately. Very often she would miss the food pallet by an inch either to the left or right. But she was able to use large part of her rear body to thrust herself forward; but she was not able to stabilize her body without her dorsal fin.

She has never given up trying; I could see her kept pushing herself and trying tirelessly to calibrate her directional control by using her body to propel, and uses her side little fins to stabilize her body while in motion.

3 weeks later, she was able to swim reasonably straight without her dorsal and tail fin. But she swam like a snake, and didn’t look like a Koi at all. This didn’t bother her, and the rest of the fishes in the pond too; they didn’t bother by her look or behaviors.

After few months of struggles and adaptation, finally her fins began to grow… now she has a brand new dorsal and tail fin…. Though the fins are a little bit shorter to consider perfect, but it’s good enough for her to live a normal life.

I am happy to see her condition now. She just refused to die.

The Laurentia Tan’s story

Now… the story of our very own Laurentia Tan. When she was five, she was described as a “vegetable”. Born with cerebral palsy, she could not speak, hear, walk or sit, and her parents Anselm and Jannie were advised to admit her into an institution, but they refused.

Today, their 29-year-old daughter is an Oxford Brooks University graduate based in the United Kingdom. She has a career, drives a car and is now a star athlete, after collecting a second bronze medal at the 13th Paralympic Games on Thursday in China. They just refuse to bow to adversary.

What can we all learnt from them…. ?

Both Laurentia and the Koi were handicapped, but they were not disabled. Despite all odds they fought with all their might and great courage.

They learn to use what they have had, and adapt to the new situations and challenges and move on in their life. But the able ‘perfect’ people like us, wither easily to slight difficulties in life. Some even take their life because of their boy-girl relationship.

What is the different between the able people like us and the Koi and Laurentia Tan?

The main different is in our mind. The able people like us, were blessed with comforts and conveniences to live our life. As we slowly climbing the ladder of Maslow’s hierarchy of Needs, from the lowest level of Basic needs to the level of Social need or Esteem Needs; most of us were blindly motivated by the worldly thingies. The needs of these worldly thingies slowly wither our mind, so much so as our values of life are now being measured by the material possession, such as what kind of car or houses we possessed; what kind of jobs are we doing; is my spouse, boy friend or girl friend, handsome, beautiful, sexy and rich etc. and the list goes on….

To survive in this world, we only need oxygen and food; to sustain life longer, we just need a place to keep us away from weather and the harmful element on earth. The rest of the possessions are baggage that we chose to carry along our journey.

Hence if we’re strong and able, we can chose to carry more to add comfort to our life journey, which is ok. But when we are weak and less able, we must learn to unload these baggages and move on with our life journey.

Many of us just could not put down these baggages easily to start a new life, and learn to adapt to life all over again. There are many reasons to these, but one of the main reasons is our ego. We just couldn’t face the world that my business has failed; my relationship has failed; I am old, and I am less able now; I do not have a good job or a good boss like others; I do not have a spouse like everyone else does etc.

We come to this world simply, but as we move on in life, we get smarter; our mind gets more complex; ironically we become more handicaps and disable. The Koi and Laurentia, both have not exposed to these worldly thingies, they only knew what they’ve had, what they need to do, and they learn to live with what they’ve had, and excel on it. Of cause, the Koi had me to provide her with the security and food; Laurentia had her parent showered her with love and all the basic needs.

So go on to live our life with what we already have; do not cry over those things that we do not have, or no longer have; and those of us who are able and fortunate, spare a little to bless those people who is less fortunate with love or whatever is abundant to us. In so doing, we will all achieve the eternal happiness and peace in life.

* Imperfection can be beautiful….

Imperfection can be useful; at times beautiful too… Hence enjoy our little imperfection, and be comfy with it…..

Nature has a way to balance our imperfection; hence have faith, and always learn to use what we’ve had, don’t long for something which we do not have….

*The Hidden Secret…

A friend of mine wrote the following reflection to me after having read the book, “Secret”. I would like to post it here for my further reflection.

******

The Hidden Secret

As we ponder upon our lives, we realized that much of our failures arose from our fear. Much of these fears root from our bag gages of worry for the unforeseeable consequences. Some people who are more empathetic will think about how it may affect people around them. Perhaps, this is also a sign that we do not have enough faith in ourselves for us to believe that we are making the right decision. Eventually, we start to sit back in our comfort zone, missing out opportunities to see how the other side of the world looks like.

The secret, as revealed in the book, is derived from a simple rule. If you think of it happening, it will. I agree with the author for the mind is a powerful yet unfathomable – if I may put it in the crudest term – tool, belonging to humankind.

Well, perhaps, it is too early to say that it is a SIMPLE rule. How many people have failed to follow this rule along the way and fell into the trap of fear? It takes great effort and perseverance to believe that we are able to get what we want for there is abundance in the world for everyone. Perhaps, the mind of the human being acts against this simple rule. Human minds are complex and prefer to think deeply about an issue before taking an action. Perhaps, sometimes, they think too hard that the opportunity just swooped by even before they can realize it. This simple rule, therefore, becomes too difficult for humankind to understand.

Perhaps, as I have mentioned earlier, this disbelief of the simple rule stems from fear. The fear of finding out that it works. Does it mean that people need to have higher expectation of themselves since they are able to get what they want? Do they now have no excuse not to step out of their comfort zones?

Of course, I do understand that some people may feel cynical about this simple rule. This rule, though encompasses all works of life, is imperfect. It does not allow people to have a sense of when they will be able to get what they want. If people do really think hard but still do not get what they want, does it mean that they have not really thought REAL hard? In another words, how badly do we want a thing before it can really happen? No one can answer this question. Only the universe can.

However, I truly believe that this simple rule gives hope to people for a brighter future. It gives people a sense of vision that nothing is impossible in this world. Hopefully, this simple rule will not cease to exist in the future.

My reflections:

Fear is a natural emotional response to threats and danger.

Fear is often connected to pain (e.g. some fear heights because if they fall, they may suffer severe injury or even die upon landing). Many theorists such as Watson and Ekman, have suggested that fear is one of several basic, innate emotions (e.g. joy and anger).

Fear is a survival mechanism, and usually occurs in response to a specific negative stimulus. All living creatures possessed the ‘Fright or Fight” nature instinct for their own survival.

As the article correctly pointed out; as we stepping out of our “comfort” zone and venturing into the “unknown”, the “Flight” or “Fight” instinct will response naturally to alert us of the impending danger or threats.

As we can’t “Fight” the unknown, hence we really don’t have much choice but to “Fear”. Hence Fear is not the culprit that causes us to miss out on the “opportunity”, and led us to “failure” in life; but rather the inability or incompetence in handling these fears is something worthwhile for us to ponder upon in life.

Usually this kind of psychological fear arises from within. People living in affluence life-style usually lack of courage and faith in ourselves to pursue what we want, alas sad to say that some of us don’t even know what we really want beside money.

THE COURAGE

Courage is defined as action despite having fear; but many people tend to define as action in the absence of fear.

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear; not absence of fear.” – Mark Twain

Courage is derived from love, and love will lead to passion. If we want something passionately bad enough, the immortal courage will build up within us, and it is usually big enough to move a mountain.

“Live as brave men; and if fortune is adverse, front its blows with brave hearts.” – Cicero

Anyway life is a journey not a destination. A journey without hiccup, we will not understand life fully and appreciate it.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known losses, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” – Dr Elisabeth Kubler – Ross (1926 – 2004)

“Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm” – Sir Winston Churchill.

“I am not afraid of storms, for I am how to sail my ship” – Louisa May Alcott

“Failure should be our teacher, not the undertaker. Failure is delay – not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead-end street.” – John Maxwell

“People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

THE FAITH

Faith is a belief in the trustworthiness of an idea that has not been proven.

“Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into light” – Helen Keller

Knowing ourselves through constant reflection is important to build our faith. Another aspect to build our faith is to acquire competencies and skills as we live our life mindfully everyday. We have to constantly build our faith capacity when it is not needed.

*Language of Head, Heart and Soul…

THE ENLIGHTEN MOMENT

After having seen Sri Sri Ravi Shankar spoke on the existence of various languages in CNN Live couple of years ago; My life has ever since been shifted to a different paradigm of thoughts and perspective of things happening around me. Somehow it enables me to understand myself deeper, better, and I no longer easily irritated by things beyond my control; and I’m able to accept them quite easily as it is.

NATURE vs HUMAN KNOWLEDGE

I’ve learnt from the Discovery Channel that our knowledge in science today is still very “shallow” as compare to the wisdom of the Nature. There are lots of things, phenomenon and situations happening around us till today, we are still unable to understand and explain.

This is only logically so, because the Universe was formed ‘zillion’ light-years ago by a set of hyper advance complex science formulations; and our history of writing, encompasses the various writing systems, only evolved in the “Early Bronze Age”, which is around the late 4th millennium BCE. Hence comparatively our languages is only at the infant stage of our Universe life-cycle; therefore lacking of suitable words to explain the wisdom of Nature is understandably normal, and it’s expectedly so.

Though we can’t explain certain things that happen around us, but we are able to feel and sense their existence. So should we stop living with them and stop using them to our advantage even we don’t understand them? Do we stop using computer and watching television even we don’t really understand how the electricity really works?

I have come to realize that the more we’re educated, the greater the tendency for us to seek first to understand then believe; somehow overtime, we lost our natural instinct to trust our senses; and we chose to communicate only in the language of Head by using “Word”.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar highlighted that there are 3 available languages for us to communicate to ourselves, people, living creature and the Mother Nature.

3 FORMs OF LANGUAGES – by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

“Word” is the language of Head; “Love” is the language of Heart; and “Silent” is the language of Soul or Spirit.

It all looks so simple, and sounded at times like a “motherhood” statement on first glance, but if we read and understand it through our spiritual eyes, we will soon realize that it is, in fact very profound and enlightening, and it will help us resolve a lot of complex issues in our daily living; and its solution often seems very apparent too.

LANGUAGE OF OUR HEAD – WORD

“Word” is of ‘Sound’, and it is verbal, either externally, where other people can hear, or internally, can only be heard by oneself. Either way, it will obstruct us from listen actively, because our sense of hearing is nearer to our head; and it will cloud our thoughts if we use “Word” all the time. That is why, people who gossip all the time, lack of coherent thinking, and usually unable to listen attentively. The strength of “Word” is of logical and rational.

LANGUAGE OF OUR HEART – LOVE

“Love” is of ‘Action’, either self communication or communicates with others around us. It will change and shape our relationship with whom we communicated with. Since it’s an act of action and vibrations, it will not cloud or complicate our Head, or being an obstacle to listening or learning. The strength of “Love” is of feeling, engagement and connection.

LANGUAGE OF OUR SOUL OR SPIRIT – SILENT

“Silent” is a ‘non interference’ act. It enables us to be ‘still’ in relation to things or situations around us.

Human being belongs to animal group. As animal, in Chinese word is regarded as “Dong Wu – 动物”. Dong (动) means movement, action; Wu (物) means creature. Hence human being is an action creature in the ancient Chinese wisdom.

“Silent” is the most difficult language for human being to be indulged with; because it is against our nature. “Silent” does not imply only externally; internally “Silent” is of utmost important, and it is extremely difficult to do. The strength of “Silent” is of calmness and clarity.

In the “Scripture of Clarity and Silence” by Laojun, provides us with a better understanding and insight on the two – the “Clarity” and “Silence”.

• · “The Great Dao has no form, but it gives birth and nourishes heaven and earth.

• · The Great Dao has no emotion, but it moves the sun and the moon.

• · The Great Dao has no name, but it nourishes all things.

• · I know not its name, so I impose the name ‘Dao’.

• · Dao has the aspects of ‘clarity’ and ‘unclarity’,

• · The aspects of ‘motion’ and ‘quietude.’

• · The heaven is clear and the earth is unclear,

• · The heaven moves and the earth is silent.

• · The male principle is clear and the female principle is unclear.

• · The male principle moves and the female principle is silent.

• · From the source to its ends, all things came into being.

• · Clarity is the origin of unclarity;· Silence is the origin of motion.

• · If a human can be constantly in a state of clarity and silence, Heaven and earth will be united with him/her.”

SUMMARY

Knowing the existence of three languages has enabled me to understand my communication challenges better. The use of three languages in the right context can be very powerful, as it can connect, influence and inspire people.

Learn to use “Word” to rationale issues, use “Love” to convey action, use “Silent” to understand complex issues. The usage of these languages in the wrong context can be very detrimental and chaotic too; can you imagine if we use “Love” to rationale things; use “Word” to work; and use “Silent” to protest; the result will be a powerful chaos.

*The adaptation of Buddhist five precepts to today’s contexts….

The Five Precepts constitute the basic Buddhist code of ethics, undertaken by lay followers of the Buddha Gautama in the Theravada and Mahayana traditions.

The Five Precepts are commitments to abstain from killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, lying and intoxication. Undertaking the five precepts is part of both lay Buddhist initiation and regular lay Buddhist devotional practices.

The Buddha is said to have taught the five precepts out of compassion, and for the betterment of society. Thus they are to be undertaken voluntarily rather than as commandments from a god. The precepts are intended to help a Buddhist live free from remorse, so that they can progress more easily on the Path.

My random thoughts:

Buddha taught the five precepts out of compassion and for the betterment of society and his people at that time; not out of compliance to the Law of Nature.

I am a staunch believer of Buddha’s teaching; I would attempt to ride on his tall shoulder to continue his journey to further interpret his teaching in today’s context.

As the law of nature, where Taoist, way back in 5000 years ago, observed that every living things on earth, there is a controlling and a nurturing functions to sustain life in the entire Universe. Hence the Yin & Yang Philosophy was derived.

The concept of yin and yang describes two opposing and, at the same time, complementary (completing) aspects of any one phenomenon (object or process) or comparison of any two phenomena. They are universal standards of quality at the basis of the systems of correspondence seen in most branches of classical Chinese science and philosophy, traditional Chinese medicine being an example.

Yin & Yang is also about Moderation, and this is what I would used here to interpret the teaching:

Killing

If killing is for food, to stop hunger and to sustain life, not for leisure or greed, I guess it is granted by the law of nature as an acceptable action. We are not meant for eating just the vegetable, but eating more vegetable with suitable amount of meats would be a balance and a healthy diet for mankind. Hence we can’t eat meat without killing.

Stealing

Usually stealing is out of greed; but some of you may said, Robin Hood steal out of humanity. Hence I would generally support stealing is a No-no, and exception must be genuine and not against the law of nature, or cause harm and suffering to others.

Sexual Misconduct

Reproduction is one of the main purposes of all the living things on earth. Hence we can’t reproduce without having sex.

So what is sexual misconduct? If we reference to the law of nature, sexual misconduct could well imply to sexual conduct in excess, sexual abuse, or sexual activities that cause pain, harm and suffering to either or both the sexual partners.

I would advocate that the acceptable sexual conducts, in the law of moderation, are the conduct of the sexual activities that will not give rise to irresponsible acts, guilt, pain or suffering to either or both sexual partners. I would also advocate that Lesbianism or Gayism is not a natural sexual conduct as this will not lead to reproduction purpose of all living things, hence violating the law of Nature.

In view of this, even the sexual activities within a married couple could be considered as sexual misconduct, if it causes guilt, harm or suffering to the partners. In the contrary, sexual activities outside the marriage can sometime be considered as proper conduct, if it is done to heal wounds of harm and suffering, and does not cause any post sexual guilt. You may argue that that is a lame excuse, but if anyone does feel otherwise, I can only said, adultery is a man-made issue, and not the Nature.

Morality is the law within a community, and is man-made, whereas the law of Nature is within all the living things in the Universe, and it is made by Nature, the super mighty power of all creation, once violated, everything else will be destroyed.

Lying

I am agreeing that lying should be abstained, but lying does not amount to not telling or disclosing everything. I always advocating that if I don’t have anything better to say, don’t say; unless it is meant for constructive comments or feedback for improvement purposes.

Imagine if everyone follows this precept in the wrong context, we may unknowingly create many frictions or even wars. Imagine if everyone going around to describe to you how ugly you are etc. J

Intoxication

In today’s context, we have Alcohol intoxication, Caffeine intoxication, Cannabis intoxication, Heroin intoxication and water intoxication. Many of these drugs are created for medical usage, but once it is being abused or immoderate, it becomes intoxicated. Even the harmless coffee and water, if it is being over-dosed, can be intoxicated. Hence use it with good intention and with right moderation.

Conclusion

In conclusion, anything that is man-made has validity; it needs to be constantly reviewed in context to make sure it is still relevant, if not, it will have the negative effects of causing pain and suffering to the mankind. Whereas if it is made by the wishful Nature, it has no expiry date, unless the balance state of Nature has been altered by the mankind.

*Greed, anger and foolishness – my reflection…

I grew up in the world where most people are struggling with greed, anger and foolishness (GAF). Though there were many delightful moments, but was never long lasting, and was quickly over-shadowed by GAF.

I was constantly seeking resolution for GAF in my early adulthood, but was unknowingly influenced by the effect of the GAF. The effect, on the surface, seems to be a good motivating source of energy to push me to do better in life, but subtly and slowly, I realized that I was losing identity and purpose in life, and I was not happy.

I realized later that if I want to overcome challenges in life, I must first seek to understand the causes.

One day when I was resting alone in a nice secluded hotel in Udon, Thailand, i, by chance, had discovered what I thought was the best description of GAF, and its causes.

After having understood the causes of GAF, I could feel that I am progressing slowly in the right direction in overcoming the GAF; though the journey of seeking resolutions in overcoming the GAF may never come to an absolute end, but at least i could enjoy the good effects which arises from the journey now, and i am getting lighter every each day as i passes through life….

I would like to pen-down here what I have discovered, in the hope that if anyone else is seeking the similar journey as me in future, you could well standing on my shoulder, and avoid many rough patches if you were to start off from ground zero.

Greed rises from the wrong idea of satisfaction; Anger rises from the wrong idea concerning the state of one’s affair and surrounding; Foolishness rises from the inability to judge what is the correct conduct; Greed rises in want of satisfaction; Anger rises in want of dissatisfaction; foolishness rises from impure thoughts.

To get rid of these sources of ‘woe’, one must observe the precepts, must practice concentration of mind, and must have wisdom.

Observation of precepts will remove the impurity of greed; right concentration of mind will remove the impurity of anger, wisdom will remove the impurity of foolishness.

The Five Precepts are commitments to abstain from killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, lying and intoxication.

*Turning nothing into something – my reflection…..

The Black Knight fly-past aerial display – Singapore National Day Parade 2008

Is it difficult to create something out of nothing?

I personally don’t think so; it is not a rocket science; in fact we are doing it naturally all the time, just that we are not mindful of it.

By the fact that we exist today, is being created out of nothing by our parents.

Human beings are the only species on earth that are capable of using this powerful ability, given by our mother nature, to make our livings more exciting and worth living.

The motivation behind the creation process, to me, is either “love” or “hate”.

If you love to take picture, you will create something out of nothing, just like the picture above – the only one in this world.

If you love life, you will create something out of nothing to make living easier and worth living.

If your hate somebody, you will create an issue out of nothing;

If you hate yourself, you will create something out of nothing to harm your self-esteem, and make your living a chaos.

The different between the two creations is “feeling grateful” or “feeling blue”; being ‘successful’ or being “a failure”.

The choice is in our hands; what we are today, is what we have decided previously; what will we be tomorrow, is what we going to decide today

* How to Turn Nothing into Something – by Jim Rohn

The picture above is a simple but beautiful creation by the people participated in Singapore National Day Parade 2008, the greatest show on earth…. J

1. Imagine what is possible.

2. Have the faith to believe that what is possible is possible for you.

3. You go to work to make it real.

• You go to work to make it a hotel.
• You go to work to make it an enterprise.
• You go to work and make it good health.
• You go to work and make it an association.
• You go to work and make it a movement;
• You make it tangible.
• You make it viable.
• You breathe life into it and then you construct it.

That is such a unique and powerful ability for all of us human beings. Put this to work and start the miraculous process.

* Skills & Sales – The wisdom from Jim Rohn

“Don’t wish it was easier; wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems; wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges; wish for more wisdom.”

You must either modify your dreams or magnify your skills.

You can cut down a tree with a hammer, but it takes about 30 days. If you trade the hammer for an ax, you can cut it down in about 30 minutes. The difference between 30 days and 30 minutes is skills.

The key to life is to become skillful enough to be able to do rewarding things.

Learn to hide your need and show your skill.

To succeed in sales, simply talk to lots of people every day. And here’s what’s exciting – there are lots of people!

Practice is just as valuable as a sale. The sale will make you a living; the skill will make you a fortune.

Selling is a person-to-person business. You cannot send the sales manual out to make the sale. Sales manuals have no legs and no voice.

In the sales profession the real work begins after the sale is made.

Sales people should take lessons from their kids. What does the word “no” mean to a child? Almost nothing.

Even if you are new in sales, you can make up in numbers what you lack in skills.