* the orchids delight… by National Orchid Garden, Singapore

Since 1859, orchids have been closely associated with the Singapore Botanic Garden. The products of the Gardens’ orchid breeding programme, which began in 1928, deserve a place where they can be displayed in their full splendor. The very design of these orchids is, one could say, “hand-crafted” by the Gardens’ horticultural staff, dedicated to bringing out the finest in any hybrid cross…

To me, the National Orchid Garden has put up the best nature show that I have ever seen.  The richness and the diversity of colors displayed by this wide variety of hybrid orchids are emotionally soothing and spiritually enchanting. They look elegant from far, and sensually stimulating when seen up-closed.  The myriad of orchid blooms produce a wide spectrum of spectacular lights illuminating the entire floralscape.  However, it is sometimes beyond the capacity of our naked eyes to really appreciate the true splendor of these divine flowers.  Hence viewing of this show is perhaps best through a pair of good lens, and here I shall share this enchanting moment which has captivated me throughout the entire three hours’ journey I had in this balmy atmosphere of a secluded tropical garden with you. The show which I have named “the orchids delight…”, features a wide variety of personalities, dressed in their native colorful costumes and makeup, either solo or in groups; some are stunning, some are subtle; some are patterned, some are unadorned; some are intricate, some are simple.  All in all, it has just been an exhilarating and breath taking journey…

My take away from the show is “don’t believe what you cannot see. What we can not see, or understand, is not necessarily non existence…”

* Can the co-existence of ideal world and real world be possible…?

Someone whispered to me from a distance as I was walking into the woods.  She seemed to be asking me something which I couldn’t figure it out at first. But as the wind and the dust gently and slowly settled down, I seemed to hear a trembling voice, which was trying to reach out to me, as if she was in great pain from within…

“In an idealistic world, it will be most wonderful that… but we are just humans with so many realities of daily living. Does anyone expect people to switch in and out between the ideal world and real world…?” As she finished uttering those words, her voice started to break and fade hurriedly into the night like a frightened child being seen doing something wrong… She seemed to be running away from something or maybe someone…

“Is it possible for such a co-existence…?” She turned her head, and looked back at me with her tearing doubtful eyes, as she echoed those few trailing words before her shadow withered helplessly into the distant darkness and the night became cold and quiet again…

“Must we live in two different worlds?” I asked myself.

It seems to me that people who cannot be or are not able to be themselves, tend to see the ideal world and the real world as two distinctive and contrasting worlds. It is as if one is for the mind, while the other is for the body.

There is not much difference between our left brain and right brain. The left brain is the logical world or real world, while the right brain is the ideal world or emotional world. Until today, scientists and researchers have not yet successfully figured it out how our left and right brains can function as one integrated entity.

But we don’t have to go very far to know that we are always switching between the two brains, one moment we are thinking logically, the next moment we break down and cry. We do it so often that we don’t even realize it.

The ideal world is our dream, is our source of passion, and it gives rise to our hopes and energy to be alive. The only thing that can make the two worlds different is when we stop pursuing our dreams. Doing nothing and making no effort to move towards our dreams, that is when our dreams remain still as dreams, and they become unreal, turning into day-dreams.

Just look at many people in the past who have successfully turned their dreams into reality, like how Walt Disney has put life into his imaginations, and how the Wright brothers have built our first flying machine…

Our destiny is in our hands – have the courage to live in our “ideal world” in the real world. Even if we do not reach our ideal world in the end, we will be happy and comforted to know that we have at least sown the seeds and have spared no effort in pursuit of our dream. We will also not feel regretful that we have wasted our entire life living in other people’s dreams, since we know for sure that as we live our life every day, we are journeying a day closer towards our ideal dream world…

The feeling is exciting, real and fulfilling when we know we are living and journeying closer to where we want to be. We do not have to live in contradictions, in agony, and be what others want us to be any longer. Now is the chance for all of us to be ourselves, to re-discover who we are and what we want now, yes now – at this very moment…

Practice makes us better, but it is in taking the action that makes all the difference.

Lets live our dream today and everyday… my friends!

* lack of love – the wisdom from nature…

lack of love…

Many of our challenges and sufferings today are related to love, to be precise is due to the “lack of love”.

The cleaner dreads her day, feels ashamed, and lacks motivation and creativity to keep the place clean. She does not have the feeling and love for the place and for the people who are working or living there.  Consequently, she perceives, unconsciously, that a clean and tidy environment is not needed and that they do not deserve her efforts to keep the place clean. If she loves the place and the people who work and live there, she would have harnessed a lot of cosmos energy and creativities to find a better way to make the place clean and tidy. She would have found the noble meaning to serve those people whom she believes would benefit from her efforts.

inability to love…

Many of our complex emotional issues, disorders or illnesses today stems from our inability to love and to receive love, the real love. This inability is the result of our human behavioral evolution and domestication process that started a long time ago when our human society needed a system for all human-beings to survive, and to live together in a coherent manner – hence the birth of morality and legal systems.

birth of morality…

The moral and legal standards and definitions did not arise out of consciousness or love by the Pharisees, the puritans, the scribes or the pundits. Their definitions have arisen out of the legal court. Just like adultery, the meaning – the ordinary meaning – of which is “to make love to a woman you are not married to.” But the real meaning of adultery is “making love to someone whom you are not in love with. She may be your own wife, but if you are not in love with her, then making love to her is adultery.”[1]

Many of our moral teachings today are based on fear, but dressed in the cloth of love. When our parents told us to study hard, they have always reiterated that it is due to their love for us, of not wanting us to follow the same path that has led to their sufferings … was it out of fear or out of love…? When we got married, was it because we really loved that person and wanted to be with that person unconditionally, or was it because of our fear of losing that person, whom we perceived as capable of providing a shelter, the emotional needs and happiness for us…?

Having said all that, I would like to reiterate that it is not our parents’, teachers’ and relatives’ conscious intention to domesticate us in this manner, the manner that is driven by fear in the cloth of love.  It was just that no one has ever shown them how to love, and the meaning of real love.[2]

learning to love…

To really learn how to love and experience love, we must all “selfishly” learn to love ourselves and fill ourselves with all the loves that we deserve. Learn it from nature, because nature is still communicating in the language of love. Once we’ve understood “what is love” and the “feeling of love”, we can then go on to share our love with our parents, children, brothers and sisters, friends and the one we want to spend our life with. That is the real cycle of love.

Once we have experienced “real love”, we will experience life changing events, and we will feel peace and being showered with good energy from the cosmos universe. There will not be any guilt, jealousy or envy which are primarily responsible for creating those pains, hurts and sufferings that we are experiencing now. Though we may come across the occasional storm, and some emotional ripples later in our peaceful life, do not over-react, because it is just the way nature reminds us of the value of real love.

taken for a free ride…

As such, the notion of “taken for a free ride” will disappear, and we will feel at ease and feel blessed for being alive, everyday and the day ever after ….

---

[1] Reference from “The ABC of Enlightment” by OSHO.

[2] Refer to my other article on “what is real love” for details…

* change your perspective, change your life! the Christmas tree…

Is there any relation between the cosmos universe pictures above and the ordinary looking Christmas tree in the picture below?

* the beauty of natures in close-up…

* the bee & the lotus…

* the beauty at dusk…

* the beach party…

* Nature, the painter…

* the fears…

* meal time…

* looking over…

* reaching up…

* failure is not necessarily…

“Failure is not necessarily at the end of the road. Many times it is the beginning of a new and more exciting trip…” – Zig Ziglar

* our challenge is…

“Our challenge is to learn from the past; live and grow in the present, and look to the future with hope and optimism…” – Zig Ziglar

* the disciplines of growth…

“Most of the significant things done in the world were done by persons who were either too busy or too sick! There are few ideal and leisurely settings for the disciplines of growth…” – Robert Thornton Henderson

* Sometimes when we are generous in…

“Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways, it can change someone else’s life forever…” – Margaret Cho

* how the character is built…

“People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built…”- Eleanor Roosevelt

* It’s not how much you have…

“It’s not how much you have but how well you use what you have that counts…” – Zig Ziglar

* Courage is resistance to fear…

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear; not absence of fear.”- by Mark Twain

* Personality has the power to open doors…

“Personality has the power to open doors, but it takes character to keep them open.” – Zig Ziglar

* the god and the nuts…

“God gives the nuts, but he does not crack them…”

* the secret of joy in work…

“The secret of joy in work is contained in one word – Excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it.” -  Pearl Buck

* how to get the best out of a man…

“If you want to get the best out of a man, you must look for the best that is in him.” – Bernard Haldane

* there is no royal road in life…

“There is no royal road to anything. One thing at a time, all things in succession. That which grows fast withers as rapidly; that which grows slowly endures.” – Josiah G Holland

* Why must we go thru the same life lesson again and again…

          The same life episode seems to unfold itself repeatedly despite our efforts in sieving out the learning points. Why is that so? Why does nature always seems to put us through the same mode of suffering again and again….. why is she (the nature) so cruel?

 

          Everything happens for a reason….

 

          Some may blame it to a streak of bad luck; some may resort to fate. Whatever the case, most likely reason is that we have not learnt the right lessons in life for us to grow to our fullest authentic self.

 

          Each time when an episode is unfolding right before our eyes, there seem to have zillions of lessons we thought we knew and we tell ourselves to be wiser the next time. However, if we examine the things we thought we knew each time, we would  find ‘blames’ all over the things that we thought we ought to learn. An example of such episode is when we fall out of a relationship and we blame the person we once lovingly fell-for for being selfish, lack of commitment, lack of communication, or being stupid. Sometimes we blame ourselves for being involved with a married person… so was it the right lesson that the nature wanted us to learn? Will those blames that we’d learnt ever able to get us to our fullest authentic self? Have we ever thought of why we got into this relationship, if we have not, perhaps it is time for us to reflect upon it and ask ourselves that when we got into relationship is it because it is part of the marriage process? Or is it for us to find someone whom can give us the unconditional spiritual motivation to grow to our fullest authentic self?

 

          Nature has a way to remind us, the superior human being, of a basic principle associate with the law of nature, that is every living thing on earth will need to grow to our best authentic self and fulfill our primary mission of reproduction in any given circumstances.

 

          If we learn the right essence in life from each unfortunate episode, it will inspire us and motivate us to look forward to the future. For people who are willing to learn, life is an ultimate nurturing place, and the learning will define and clarify the true course to our life journey. Every time when we discover something that did not work out for us, it brings us a step closer to where we wanted to go in life. We should not have trouble being who we are, or finding the need to gain approval to pursue a livelihood or hold a network of relationship intact.

 

 

          Do we still believe in the old thought of in order to survive in this world, we have to wear a mask?

 

         Usually it is not that we did not learn our lesson well, but it is because we did not learn the right lessons. We tend to be very judgmental and quick to put blames on anything to justify for the failure or inaction.

          So what are the right lessons that we suppose to learn?

 

          Mira Kirshenbaum, the author of the book “Everything happens for a reason: Finding the true meaning of the events in our lives”, has discovered the ten common reasons that most of us needed in order to grow to our fullest authentic self.

 

 

 

          The ten common reasons for us to learn from each episode that unfold in our lives are:

 

 

1. To help us feel at home in the world.
2. To help us totally accept ourselves.
3. To show us that we can let go of fear.
4. To bring us to the place where we can feel forgiveness.
5. To help us uncover our true hidden talent.
6. To give what you need to find true love.
7. To help us become stronger.
8. To help us discover the play in life.
9. To show us how to live with a sense of mission.
10. To help us become a truly good person.

          Mira Kirshenbaum also recommended some diagnostic questions in her book to help us see the reasons that we ought to learn clearly when something happened to us that was big  enough to leave us hungry to understand its meaning.  If we answer “yes” to majority of these questions listed in that particular reason, that would be one of the reasons that things happen that way (for us to learn).

Reason 1:  To help us feel at home in the world.

 

• Would you describe yourself as a restless soul?
• In high / secondary school, did you have a hard time fitting in?
• Is there some secret, private part of you that you haven’t feel comfortable showing anyone?
• When you see people who seem to really belong somewhere – people live in a small town, or people who come from a tight-knit family – do you envy them?
• Have you felt that you’ve been looking for something in life for a long time but you’re not quite sure what you’re looking for?

 

Reason 2:  To help us totally accept ourselves

 

• Would you say that you’ve live your life overly concerned with what other people and what they think is important?
• Does it seem like you’ve always trying to change things about yourself without making much long term progress?
• Are you afraid to tell people close to you what you want?
• Do you often feel like someone who doesn’t matter, or do you often let a person treat you like someone who doesn’t matter?
• Do you feel that if people knew the real you, they wouldn’t like you?
• Do you have a clear dream of something you want to do or a way you want to live, based on what’s most important to you, that you’ve not doing anything to make it come true?

Reason 3: To show us that we can let go of fear

 

• Is it hard for you to trust yourself to deal with new situation?
• Think about a couple of the things you’ve done in your life that you regret. Was the main reason you did those things because you were acting out of fear?
• When you make a decision, is fear an important factor that you weigh in the balance?
• Would you say that your life is filled with things you’ve scare of?

 

Reason 4: To bring us to the place where we can feel forgiveness.

 

• Do you think a lot about some of the ways you’ve been hurt or about disappointments you’ve suffered in the past?
• Do you get angry a lot or have you been holding onto your anger for a long time?
• Is feeling guilty very much an issue for you?
• Do you spend time having “if only” fantasies where you think about how your life would be different now if you or someone else had done things differently in the past?
• Do you often feel envious?
• In some important way, do you not feel safe or secure in your life?

Reason 5: To help you uncover your true hidden talent

 

• Have you felt for a long time that you’re bigger than you life or better than the circumstances you find yourself in?
• Have you always suspected or wished you were special?
• When you were growing up, did you often feel disparaged for you intelligence or abilities?
• Have you found yourself saying no to opportunities because you’re afraid you don’t have what it takes to handle them?
• Do you feel that when you were younger you had talents or abilities that you’re not in touch with now?

 

Reason 6: To give you what you need to find true love

 

• Do you feel that you’ve made more than your share of mistakes when it comes to love?
• Are you afraid you’re unlovable?
• Have you too often felt that you haven’t found real love? (You may have had plenty of relationships, bout you haven’t found the kind of love you need in those relationships.)
• Have you too often felt lonely in your life?
• Have you ever lost a great relationship filled with the possibility of love because you didn’t value it, nurture it, give time and your best self to it?
• Is it usually hard fro you to be yourself in your relationships?

Reason 7: To help you become stronger

 

• Have you had more than your share of loss in your life?
• Has low self-esteem been an issue for you?
• Do you have trouble identifying things in your life that can’t be taken away from you?
• Has it been you experience that most thins in life are impermanent – relationship, friends, jobs, and so on?
• Do you feel you’re under serious threat of losing what you have?
• Are you hungry to have something in your life that you’re really good at?
• Have you felt there’s something important missing at your core?
• Do you feel that your ability to move forward into your future is blocked?

 

Reason 8: To help you to discover the play in your life

 

• Enjoy life often means allowing ourselves to get pleasure from our lives exactly as they are. But sometimes the only way to do that is to stop taking so seriously the very things that rob us of pleasure. I am talking about the worries, ambitions, obsessions, confusions, distractions, and stresses that suck the blood out of enjoyment of what should be happy life.

 

Why for many people, enjoying life is a complicated issue…  

• Due to wrong message or wrong experiences.
• It brings worries. 
• Because it touches a deep part of the self.
• If you’re enjoying life, then you’re not taking care of the business
• It brings up guilt – you don’t deserve to enjoy life
• It brings up insecurity – you don’t have the inner resources necessary for enjoy life
• Enjoyment is the food for motivation. When you don’t enjoy yourself, your sense of being motivated gradually withers.

Reason 9: To show you how to live with a sense of mission.

 

• Have you always had in the back of your mind a desire to make a sacrifice for something you believe in?
• Growing up, did you get the message that you have to do something big and important with you life?
• Do you sometimes feel you have to justify your existence, as if just living you life and not hurting anyone weren’t enough?
• Is feeling proud of yourself something that matters a great deal to you? And when you think of feeling proud of yourself, does it always feel connected to doing something that will make a difference?
• Have your heroes typically been people whose lives are defined by the intensity with which they lived or how they stood up for what they believe in?

 

Reason 10: To help you to become a truly good person

 

• Have you experienced loss or pain in your life both because you’ve been mistreated and because you’ve mistreated others?

* the awakening…

 

       

        After awakening from my dream, I realized that my garden is still standing beautifully right before my eyes. I wonder why I have that empty feeling from within.

 

        Perhaps this is a lesson I have to discover for myself this time round….

 

        Now that I recall, there was a moment where I was living in the past and having to deal with loses, where people came and gone in my life. For that moment, I allowed the experience of loses, sadness, betrayal and disappointment in the past to re-emerge and led my life.

 

        And also there was moment where I was living in the future, having to face the fear of losing all that I have, where I have to live in loneliness, and feeling worthlessness in my life.

 

        The space in my soul was filled with these soul-less phantom energies and that was why I felt the emptiness deep within me. Once I have filled up my soul with something real, something that I have on hand in the present moment, the emptiness within my body just disappears into the thin air.

 

        Now that I am awake and living in my present moment, I can see that, my garden is still full of life and energy with happiness and with all my friends all around me.

 

        To hell with  what the future may be, I want to live my life to my fullest authentic self, I want to enjoy what I have now, and let my guilt and fears to live in my future forever and ever…

 

        Now I feel blessed once again. Thank you very much, my friends in my present world, for being with me all these while. I am alive and kicking now…  :)

 

* secret to success – understanding what is job & work…

             “it is just a job….”  This is the phrase that we often hear during our gathering with friends or colleagues. Sometimes we just smile at them and walk away.

            But truly, do we really know what is a job? Is there a difference between job and work?

My hospital experience….

            Not too long ago, I was visiting hospital T with my mum for her breast cancer operation. After having done all the procedures, we finally got to sit down with the staff to sign the admission contract. Just before I sign the contract, I observed that my mum was assigned to B2 ward after the surgery. I asked why it was the B2 ward instead of C ward. I explained to the nurse that we wanted maximum government subsidy for my mum’s operation and her follow-up treatment. Since she was not working, she should be entitled to maximum subsidy by the government based on the Mean testing result (Ward C is where government subsidized maximum on).

            The staff was shocked and looked as if she was hearing it for the first time.  She tried to accommodate me by changing it to Ward C, but alas… She got herself a second shock; Ward C became more expensive than Ward B2. After consulting her supervisor, they finally admitted that they needed more times to sort this out, and would call me the next day.

            How could I make a decision if the people in hospital, who are dealing it on the daily basis, could not even make sense out of it?

            Eventually they called me the next day, and the answer was very simple, there are no Classes of ward for day surgery, only ‘Private’ or ‘Subsidized’ rate. Ward B2 is referring to subsidized rate. They would highlight this to their relevant authority to make it clearer in the admission contract.

            Couple of days later, I went for my closure procedures on ‘Ileostomy’ (the intestines) in Hospital S. I was impressed by the attitude of their serving staff there. One of the staff in the admission office explained to me that one of the check cost approximately $100 and could be included in my admission package. It would be free if I get it certified by the staff there. Having understood that, I was motivated to get it done and do not mind waiting for another 30 minutes for it.

            It just took that person a minute or so with the right attitude to make me feel that they are on my side to maximize my dollar. And I don’t mind to spend another 30 minutes to do that extra procedure without having any ill feeling.

            Hence, same type of admission procedures, but the feelings I walked out of both hospital with were different. Why was that so…?

            The different is that the Staff in hospital T was just doing her job – that was to make sure I signed the admission contract, whereas the staff in hospital S worked for me, and made sure that I got what I was looking for – that was to get the maximum values out of my money.

Important to understand the differences…

            It is very important for us to internalize and understand the differences between discharging our responsibity as a job or as work. The success of our career is very much dependant upon our perception of the two, and it has a great influence on our actions. Our thoughts influence our attitudes; our attitudes shape our behaviors; our behaviors dictate our actions of success or failure.

 

Understanding the fundamental governing laws is the key to success…

            As I mentioned in my other articles, the secret to living our life successfully is very much dependant upon how we understand and comply with the two fundamental governing laws, that is the Law of Nature and the Law of Social Living.

            Law of Nature is about self, and the Law of Social Living is about managing relationships. A very large part of our career and daily living are associated with managing relationships.

 

Job and work..

           A Job is something we do simply to earn money or for our bosses to pay us. A job can easily be measured by work hours, number of sales or number of products we produced. As an executive, we usually get pay according to the complexity, qualification and responsibility of our job scope.

            A work is something more than just a job. A good piece of work requires good deals of our skills, our passions, our commitments and good knowledge of the work purpose and intent.

            A job is for our bosses, whereas a work is for our friends, colleagues or people who need our help with our skills and knowledge.

            A job is to provide services to our clients or to sell our products to our customers. Work is to find out what our customers’ need and serve them accordingly, or be the buyer for our customers, or to help them make decision by providing them with adequate information and options.

            Hence, work is very subjective and it is usually very difficult to measure, but we can tell and feel the differences if we see someone is having the mentality of “got to work” or “get to work”. If someone says he got to work everyday, that is the job mentality, and if someone says that he gets to work everyday, that is the work mentality.

Keys to sustaining our successful efforts…

            As we can see, be it a job or work, it is always about others or dealing with others, either for our bosses, our customers or our colleagues (subordinates). How successful in our work dependant upon how many people we have helped to get what they want and how long can we sustain our efforts in helping people.

            The secret to sustaining such action lies in how much we master the art of balancing between Ying and Yang. Ying is about self, life, rest, nurturing and inward looking. Yang is about others, work, activities, contributions and outward looking.

            A chat friend once told me that she is a super self-centered person, and she is not ashamed of it. 

            My take to that is that we do not have to be ashamed of who we are because that is uniquely what we are.  Each one of us is unique and has a different purpose in life. We can be introvert or extrovert, selfish or selfless, self-centered or people-centered, it does not really matter, it is part of a balancing equation of man-kind (the big picture), and it is the job of Nature, we can’t do much to alter that balancing scale.

            We are all born imperfect and imbalanced. However, more importantly in our life journey is to find out who we are and balance it within ourselves. If we are an introvert, we must learn to love social activities. If we love our work to the extreme, then we need to learn to find meaning in life and relationship. Balancing is about being humble without being submissive; being confident without being arrogant; being kind without being weak. That is the secret to happiness in life.

Summary…

            In summary, A job is an empty entity where bosses used to justify our pay, a work is an art, which varies according to the level of passion, commitment, relevant knowledge and skills that mould into a piece of art work. A good piece of work always embedded with pride.

 

* understanding men deeply…

 

            Someone wrote the following article after having in the relationship for a while; but the guy was not ready to pursue any further. She wanted to help him and give this relationship another chance, but he just did not have the courage to go through it….

            She felt hopeless, rejected and confused.

      This is what she wrote (in green text), namely “Understanding Men Deeply” - Dun fuck care about my relationship status.

 

*******
            Being a woman and after socialising and knowing enough different levels of men, I come to understand, lust and intimacy is something men may receive them not from their life partners within their marriage. I have seen examples where men get these outside the marriage. Harsh facts, isn’t it? These beastful men make me grow stronger on my mental preparation. I deal relationships openly, to an extend, with the half open eye I can put myself into, though, of course, who do not desire the most perfect love as a happy ending story?

            Desiring for the perfect love is never easy many a time, Sg couples are framed into a constrained mindsets- to rush through relationships, or  have ‘no time left’ as a reason so to give up a standing relationship fast to move on to better players.

             In a SAP course LFI puts me through, there is this game called “Hee-Saw”.

            All participants are supposed to saw a big block wood imaginatively. Without notice, we did it for 4 hrs to get it saw into 2 pcs. This teaches me a life application. How many of us has tried very hard to get to one objective? From then on, I have impactfully learnt to put in my efforts to saw off all habits or negative issues to resolve 1 problem, whether the ending be it for my relationship, or for life issue, I have utmostly do my very best. However, I really thank myself for being open enough to know enough people, of different levels, to engage into the experiences of goods and bads  to allow me to see things clearer so as to have better approaches to settle issues.

            As what my guys have told me, “End of the day, Kat, u will not be a losing party, U win on a draw within the whole game.” But, I hate myself to grow up faster n more in-depth, be it you shall call this intellectual intelligence, or life experience.

 *****

My five cents worth:

·         “ …lust and intimacy is something men may receive them not from their life partners within their marriage…”

          With respect to the writer’s observation, I would like to urge the writer to look beyond the symptoms and go deeper into the matter to find out the reasons why the men are behaving that way. In the following, I will also attempt to offer my own perspective on this issue.

          One core question which we have to ask ourselves or perhaps the men is that is it that the men want variety and freshness in the relationship, or the couple has lost the sensuality toward each other after marriage, or something else?

          Lust and intimacy are two different matters. One is animal instinct to satisfy oneself; the other is about sensuality.

          Sensuality is about having the sensory desires of being closed to each other. It is not sexual-centric. It generates immense chemistry that wakes up our 5 sensors in the exploration journey. Some may just lost in the sea of orgasms without sexual intercourse. It is different from lust. Intimacy requires two hands to clap.

          One of the common obstacles to intimacy is being too possessive in the relationship. If one of the partners is possessive by nature, and has an extreme desire to own his/her partner will inevitably generate a side effect called jealousy according to the law of Precession. This side effect will slowly erode and weaken one’s personality, like the virus spreading in our system. Over time, we will eventually lost our sensual appeals and attractions.

          Are we to blame on having the idea of possessiveness?

          My opinion is that we are not entirely to blame for having this idea. We were constantly and subtly intoxicated by the idea of ‘possessiveness’ in our society; ideas such as mine or yours; Contracts and agreements; trademarks and Rights; Certificate of marriage, are the products of Law and Ownership. To have the concept of ownership is good. Ownership generates responsibility. But if we carry it too far, we will start having the attitude of mine and yours. If this is left uncheck, it will create tension and eventually lead to failure in relationship.

          The other by-products of possessiveness is “taking things for granted”. More often than not, we will tend to take things for granted once we possess the right for the things. Once that set in, we will lose the curiosity and urge to explore each other intimately in our love making session. A couple usually makes good sensual love before marriage, but may reduce to purely only sexual intercourse after marriage. 

 

·      … These beastful men make me grow stronger on my mental preparation. I deal relationships openly, to an extend, with the half open eye I can put myself into, though, of course, who do not desire the most perfect love as a happy ending story…  “ 

          The writer’s ideal of open mindedness in the relationship is to close one eye. To me this is not being open-minded from the heart. It is a form of denial. This kind of deception will put on the strain on our intimate relationship in a long run. 

          The writer also mentioned about the desire of having a perfect love as a happy ending story. I don’t think anyone can really tell me what is perfect love? Usually the perfect love that we knew is the make-believe story from the Hollywood movies, the Soap opera or the best selling love novels. These are not real; these are made or written for good commercial values.

          As a starter, the best way to experience the feeling of being loved or loving others is to love ourselves. This, not only enables us to experience the feeling of giving and receiving love, it can also enhance our self esteem and our self values.

          The writer also links the perfect marriage with happy ending. Can we have a not so perfect marriage or even a failed marriage but not feeling sad? I believe we can – so long as our happiness is not entirely dependant upon external factors, but within ourselves.

 

·         “… Desiring for the perfect love is never easy many a time, Sg couples are framed into a constrained mindsets- to rush through relationships, or  have ‘no time left’ as a reason so to give up a standing relationship fast to move on to better players... “

          Is this phenomenon only for Singapore Couples?

          If yes, we may want to examine our purpose of getting into the relationship. Is this because a relationship means marriage? A marriage means having grown up kids before our retirement? A marriage means qualifying to buy a HDB Flat? Or marriage means fulfilling our traditional pressure from our parent, friends and relative?

          Usually people feeling the ‘rush’ and have ‘no time’ in the relationship, are the people having a mindset of marriage at the beginning of the relationship. We can’t blame ourselves for this though. We’ve been taught to start with the end in mind.

         The relationship must be a ‘Natural’ process, as in the law of Nature, there is no intended purpose for starting a relationship except to enjoy each other’s companionship, and partnership as we move along our life journey. If the relationship leads to marriage and reproduction later, it will be a natural and logical thing to do in the later part of the relationship.

 

·       “… All participants are supposed to saw a big block wood imaginatively. Without notice, we did it for 4 hrs to get it saw into 2 pcs. This teaches me a life application. How many of us has tried very hard to get to one objective? From then on, I have impactfully learnt to put in my efforts to saw off all habits or negative issues to resolve 1 problem, whether the ending be it for my relationship, or for life issue, I have utmostly do my very best…”

          Good to know that the writer was able to reflect and relate her experiences and apply it onto other part of her life. I only want to highlight a key learning point which she may overlook, which she mentioned

          “…sawing a big block wood, and without notice”…

          If we put our mind to focus on other things like enjoy the team work, having fun, having to know each other better than just narrowly focusing on sawing the block, we will realize that our life journey is actually colorful, meaningful, and full of excitement and enjoyment.

          If we can apply this to our relationship, i.e. we focus on enjoying each other companionship, adding values to each other, and feeling of sensuality together, instead of relationship itself, we will be a lot happier and fruitful in leading to natural marriage and reproduction.  :)

          Lastly as a devil advocate, I would like to ask the writer, is sex the only thing in the marriage? If it is not, when sex is no longer a sensually stimulant in the marriage, or not possible to have sex, is it all right to receive it outside the marriage? 

          Sensual experience is not necessary the act of sexual intercourse; it could be having a good sensual body massage by the opposite sex. Most lady wouldn’t mind for their men going for a good massage by the ladies, but may deprive themselves of having a good sensual massage by a guy… so why the disparity. A good sensual massage is not just good for the body, but also good for the soul and the mind.  :)

* Understanding the secret in achieving peace of mind and more…

 

          We often live through life without knowing the life processes that we will have to go through. Our birth did not come with a User manual or an Operation manual to explain to us how to live our life.

          That explain why we are feeling the way we feel today. The results of this ignorance are confusion, lost and stress.

          If we examine closely, it usually has to do with relationship; relationships with our spouses, our children, our parent, our relatives, our colleagues, our bosses, our friends and even the strangers.

          Why is that so?

          If we study the history of our human survival, we will realize that since the existence of mankind, we can’t live alone in isolation. Our strength besides being Intellectual and hard work, is our ability to stay together and progress as a community. As a group we successfully weather through all kind of adversaries and obstacles in our human journey.

          Community living requires a good deal of inter-personal skill. In Zhineng Qigong Science, professor Pang Ming Laoshi (the founder of Zhineng Qigong) could not stress enough for us to understand the principles of Dao (道) Te (德).

          What Is Dao (道) Te (德) got to do with Qigong?

          Zhineng qigong is not about gongfu. It is about achieving a peace of mind through linking our Qi, our mind and our body together as one. Once we have achieve that harmony, our body immune system will be improved, our senses will be sharpened, and intellect will be enhanced, and we will have the clarity and the peace of mind in our daily living.

          In order to achieve the harmony of Qi, body and mind, we must not just practice the method of Zhineng Qigong alone; we must also understand our fundamental, which is Dao Te (道德).

          There are 4 type of Dao Te in Zhineng Qigong science.

1. Nature Dao Te (The law of Nature – 自然道德).
2. Social Dao Te (The law of Social Living – 社會道德)
3. Nature-Social Dao Te (The law of Transition – 自然社會道德)
4. Social Freedom Dao Te (The law of Enlightenment – 社會自由道德)

          These 4 laws govern our human growth processes from the onset when the sperm meet the egg, from the birth till death. The law of Nature and the law of Social living are the fundamental governing law of our well-being; whereas the law of Transition is talking about the transition period from Nature to Social Living. And the law of Enlightenment is through practicing of Zhineng qigong to free our thought from greed, disturbances, and eliminate the demarcation of self and others. This stage requires a clear understanding and application of the first 3 laws.

          I will briefly explain the two fundamental laws – the law of Nature and the law of Social Living – that govern our well being.

 

The Law of Nature (Nature Dao Te)

          Before we understand the law of nature, we need to understand how the Nature is being formed.

          All things in the universe, visible or invisible, are the manifestations of Dao. Dao is the source of all matter that makes up the universe. The appearance of disintegration of matter (birth, death etc) is the transmutation (concentration or dispersal) of Dao. Dao exists in and permeates everything.

          The Universe and nature are one entity. Within the entity, there are numerous levels of materials, which permeate and transmute each other. Through actions and interactions of these materials, billions of things emerge to form the universe.

 

Formless entity

          There are 3 levels of formless or invisible entities:

1st Level: is the highest level and it is formed by Dao, nicked name Emptiness, or also known as Wan Yuan Qi.

2nd Level: is evolved by Dao. It is known as Tai Yi, also known as Tai Zi or Yuan Qi.

3rd Level: is the lowest level of formless entity, and it is evolved by Tai Yi. It is also known as Ying-Yang or Ying-Yang qi. It has two polarity which is opposite from each other.

          All things which are subsequently evolved and formed by Ying-Yang qi are visible, it is also known as Form entity.

          Dao itself can be of motionless property, but once it is being disturbed, it permeates and joins the source of disturbances. And will finally adopt a new property from the source.

 

Form entity

          Form entities are referring to all visible things in the universe, such as Stars, planets, Mountain, ocean, trees, plants, flowers, animals and all other things in the universe.

          In the law of Nature, all organic things, plant or animal, will have to grow and transform through exchange of property with other substance.

          All things that are evolved under the law of Nature are “Natural” process. There is no intention or force; it is through their own natural (Dao Te) process of growth, evolution and motion. There is no purposeful intent or objective to the action. It is entirely thoughtless automatic natural process.

        Take for example, the seed of the apple, when in contact with water, nutrient and sun light, it will grow into an apple tree, and bear apples for the next generation. These series of processes are ‘natural’, i.e. thoughtless, and effortless with no purposeful intent or whatsoever. In this growing process, it also contributed to many others living things, such as the dropping leaves become the fertilizer for other plant to grow; the tree provides shade for all living creatures; the ripen apples as the food for human and other creatures to eat etc, are not the service provided by the apple. It is also not about selfless or selfish act. It is entirely ‘natural’ in compliance with the law of Nature. It is effortless with no control or manipulation.

          In summary, the law of Nature is:

1. To enable each human being and its function to coexist with other things in the universe.
2. To ensure the processes within oneself is in alignment with others to provide a wholesome completion of a bigger process within the universe (the biggest picture)
3. To ensure each and individual body and its function is in compliance of the law of nature in the universe. Its changes are passively processed and dictated by the same rule, so that the entire universe can be functioned and existed as one.

 

The Law of Social Living

          The law of Social living (Social Dao Te) is exclusively for human being.

          Human is the supreme intelligent creature on earth. He has the ability to think, observe, emulate and invent things to change the world. These behaviors and values can only realize when he combines the thoughts, knowledge, languages, with the process of social interaction through people, in order to bring forth to reality.

          Human is a community living creature. In order to live in harmony and preserved the values of all man kind, the law of Social Living is necessary.

          The law of Social Living is the processes dictated by the society to deal with people and people relationships. Hence each individual body and its function will have to comply with the law of Social Living to enable the entire community and society to exist as a whole.

          If a child since birth has not gone into human society or community to learn, he would not process the value of the human being. Hence he will remain in the Nature-stage and it is very difficult to assimilate into the community and function well.

          What are the processes of the human cycle?

          The processes from the moment the sperm meets the egg, till child birth, are entirely governed by the Law of Nature. That is to say, the crying, sucking of milk, breathing, passing of urine and motion are the processes of the law of Nature.

          In this stage, there is no right or wrong, happy or sad; no good or bad, ugly or beautiful, self or others; and no yours or mine concept. The baby’s mind is highly open and receptive to surrounding for learning.

          As the child started to expose to the law of Social Living, he will slowly learn to deal with people, started to form the concept of good and bad, yours or mine etc through parent, siblings, teachers and the community teaching and preaching.

          Hence the law of Social Living is not born with it, it is cultivated through the processes of cultural education, the law and regulations enforcement. And over the years, it slowly evolves and shapes the community behaviors and values to become the law of Social Living in that society or community.

 

In summary

          Human beings are subjected to the law of nature and the law of Social Living. The former is being the foundation; it provides the root in all living things.

          The law of nature is about the individual, whereas the law of Social living is about dealing with people in the community. Hence if we want to be happy we must understand the law of nature, if we want to be successful in the society we need to be conversant with the law of Society Living.

          Most of us trying to achieve happiness through the processes of law of Social Living, thinking that if I am good to others and be kind to others, I will be truly happy. That is true to only certain extent. Those fulfillments and achievements only provide short term happiness. The true peace of mind is achieving through understanding and compliance with the law of nature and the law of Social Living. We need to have both in order to be truly happy in the human world.

 

* selfish vs selfless…

The guru’s definition of Selfish & Selfless…

Self-ishness denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one’s own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others. Selfishness is the opposite of altruism (Self-lessness).

The implications of selfishness have inspired divergent views within religious, philosophical, psychological, economic and evolutionary contexts.

Self-lessness is the act of sacrificing ones own interest for the greater good.

Altruism is having regard for others, both natural and moral, devotion to the interests of others; It is a traditional virtue in many cultures, and central to many religious traditions. This idea was often described as the Golden rule of ethics. Altruism is the opposite of self-ishness.

Altruism can be distinguished from feelings of loyalty and duty. Altruism focuses on a motivation to help others or a want to do good without reward, while duty focuses on a moral obligation towards a specific individual (for example, God, a king), a specific organization (for example, a government), or an abstract concept (for example, patriotism etc). Some individuals may feel both altruism and duty, while others may not. Pure altruism is giving without regard to reward or the benefits of recognition.

The concept has a long history in philosophical and ethical thought, and has more recently become a topic for psychologists (especially evolutionary psychology researchers), sociologists, evolutionary biologists, and etiologists. While ideas about altruism from one field can have an impact on the other fields, the different methods and focuses of these fields lead to different perspectives on altruism. Researches on altruism were sparked in particular after the murder of Kitty Genovese in 1964, who was stabbed during half an hour, with passive witnesses withholding themselves from helping her.

Why are we selfish or selfless?

We do everything for a reason – everything we do is done because it is what we WANT to do or else we wouldn’t do it. Therefore all of our actions are working towards the satisfaction of our desires, be it to seek pleasure or to avoid pain. The school of thought is that the reason people do good things is because it feels good to do so and is therefore, like everything else, is a selfish act. There are selfish acts that help others and those that harm others (traditional understanding of the word ‘selfish’) Sometimes people want to help each other because they know that if they don’t they will be chastised later, or they know that they will receive praise or gifts if they do. Other times people do good or selfless things just because it feels good, but why? Why does it feel good to help others and feel bad to not help them?

Ayn Rand’s Philosophy on Objectivitism has brought another interesting perspective to selfishness of mankind.

Objectivism (Ayn Rand) is a philosophy developed by Ayn Rand in the 20th century that encompasses positions on metaphysics, epistemology, ethics, politics, and aesthetics.

The philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute.

— Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged 35th anniversary edition

Ayn Rand characterized Objectivism as a philosophy for living on earth, grounded in reality, and aimed at defining man’s nature and the nature of the world in which he lives. Rand presented her philosophy through her novels The Fountainhead, Atlas Shrugged, and other works. She elaborated on her ideas in The Objectivist Newsletter, The Objectivist, The Ayn Rand Letter, Introduction to Objectivist Epistemology, and other non-fiction books.

Objectivism holds that reality exists independent from consciousness; that individual persons are in contact with this reality through sensory perception; that human beings can gain objective knowledge from perception through the process of concept formation; that the proper moral purpose of one’s life is the pursuit of one’s own happiness or rational self-interest; that the only social system consistent with this morality is full respect for individual rights, embodied in pure, consensual laissez-faire capitalism; and that the role of art in human life is to transform man’s widest metaphysical ideas, by selective reproduction of reality, into a physical form — a work of art — that he can comprehend and respond to.

My personal thought on the subject is that being selfish or selfless are two extreme oppose characteristics that most of us, the ordinary people, will not be happy if we only possess one behavior all the time, either absolutely selfish or selfless. For example, how many of us can stay happy to be a truly selfless person like Buddha or Jesus?

Being selfish or selfless behavior is closely associated with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It is a natural survival behavior or instinct that for people who are struggling to make ends meet are less likely to exhibit Selfless behavior; people who are contented and comfortable in the upper level of hierarchy are more likely to share, and more inclined to exhibit selflessness behavior.

Again, no one will know, except ourselves if we are truly a selfless or a selfish person. To pass our judgment based on third party observation can be deceiving, because this selfless or selfish behavior is about our inner-self and thoughts. We can only guess or assume others’ thoughts based on the observable behaviors on the surface, but still an association, and it is not an absolute truth. Hence don’t judge people, if we do, most probably we are wrong. A Self-ish act can be good, and a Self-less act can be deceiving too.

To me, being selfish or being selfless in the world we live in today, has to be carefully balance in context dependant upon the situation we are in. Therefore, how well and happy we live our life, or how successful we do our daily routines, is not about being selfish or selfless, but more so dependant upon how well we know ourselves (the purpose and values); how well we appraise the situation around us; and how well we use our acquired skills to balance it. And all these will not be possible also if we are not sensually connected, confident and competent.

To live a balance, meaningful, and a happy life, I am more inclined to advocate a good balance of the two. For example, if we are, by nature, a more self-ish person, we need to consciously cultivate and nourish the right amount of self-lessness in us. In the theory of “YinYang”, it simply means “Self-LESS within a self-ISH entity”. Vice verse is also true.

Well, by far this is a very complex subject, where the gurus of the past and present have many different thoughts and disagreement upon the issues. Hence I would encourage the ordinary people like us not to waste our precious times and energy to decide something where the gurus can’t even synthesized.

Hence, moving on with our life journey ahead, start to self-ishly focus on developing ourselves, know who we are, and what are we here for, until we reach a level where we’re competent enough to self-lessly share and add value to others and/or the environment around us.

Never stop learning about ourselves and the environment around us; as life is a journey not a destination; the people and the environment around us are constantly changing too; the day we stop learning, it is the day we die, either we are buried or not, it doesn’t matter.

There are more of the “living dead” around us then we think. Hence don’t be influenced by these “living dead”, go on to live our life by treasuring every present moment that we have, and live our day to the fullest, and stay happy.

* Never bow to adversary….. the stories of the Koi and Laurentia Tan.

The Koi’s Story

There was this small little Koi pond at the back of my office where I always go to relax my mind and practice my Zhineng Qigong. The sound of the water falling, and the sight of those beautiful and colorful Kois swimming nonchalantly in the water, had this special soothing soul massaging effect on me.

One day, as usual, when I was at the pond getting ready to feed the Kois; to my horror, I saw one of the Koi was afloat on top of the water filter element and laying there hopelessly gasping for air.

I quickly looked for a scooping fish-net nearby to get her back to the main pond; but she was too weak to swim and could only managed to struggle to stay afloat on the surface.

Next day when I visited the pond, to the worst of my horror, her dorsal fin and tail fin were all rotten and gone. The hungry little guppies, took advantage of her motionless body, and nibbled all her dorsal and tail fins away, just like eating the delicacy of the shark fins soup…..

So I found a big net to isolate her from the rest of the fishes by the corner of the pond. And I started to look for a possible burial ground.

I came in early the next day, to my surprised, she was still alive and struggling to move around in the pond.

As days went by, she began to have the desire for food; but she was not able to aim her mouth towards the food accurately. Very often she would miss the food pallet by an inch either to the left or right. But she was able to use large part of her rear body to thrust herself forward; but she was not able to stabilize her body without her dorsal fin.

She has never given up trying; I could see her kept pushing herself and trying tirelessly to calibrate her directional control by using her body to propel, and uses her side little fins to stabilize her body while in motion.

3 weeks later, she was able to swim reasonably straight without her dorsal and tail fin. But she swam like a snake, and didn’t look like a Koi at all. This didn’t bother her, and the rest of the fishes in the pond too; they didn’t bother by her look or behaviors.

After few months of struggles and adaptation, finally her fins began to grow… now she has a brand new dorsal and tail fin…. Though the fins are a little bit shorter to consider perfect, but it’s good enough for her to live a normal life.

I am happy to see her condition now. She just refused to die.

The Laurentia Tan’s story

Now… the story of our very own Laurentia Tan. When she was five, she was described as a “vegetable”. Born with cerebral palsy, she could not speak, hear, walk or sit, and her parents Anselm and Jannie were advised to admit her into an institution, but they refused.

Today, their 29-year-old daughter is an Oxford Brooks University graduate based in the United Kingdom. She has a career, drives a car and is now a star athlete, after collecting a second bronze medal at the 13th Paralympic Games on Thursday in China. They just refuse to bow to adversary.

What can we all learnt from them…. ?

Both Laurentia and the Koi were handicapped, but they were not disabled. Despite all odds they fought with all their might and great courage.

They learn to use what they have had, and adapt to the new situations and challenges and move on in their life. But the able ‘perfect’ people like us, wither easily to slight difficulties in life. Some even take their life because of their boy-girl relationship.

What is the different between the able people like us and the Koi and Laurentia Tan?

The main different is in our mind. The able people like us, were blessed with comforts and conveniences to live our life. As we slowly climbing the ladder of Maslow’s hierarchy of Needs, from the lowest level of Basic needs to the level of Social need or Esteem Needs; most of us were blindly motivated by the worldly thingies. The needs of these worldly thingies slowly wither our mind, so much so as our values of life are now being measured by the material possession, such as what kind of car or houses we possessed; what kind of jobs are we doing; is my spouse, boy friend or girl friend, handsome, beautiful, sexy and rich etc. and the list goes on….

To survive in this world, we only need oxygen and food; to sustain life longer, we just need a place to keep us away from weather and the harmful element on earth. The rest of the possessions are baggage that we chose to carry along our journey.

Hence if we’re strong and able, we can chose to carry more to add comfort to our life journey, which is ok. But when we are weak and less able, we must learn to unload these baggages and move on with our life journey.

Many of us just could not put down these baggages easily to start a new life, and learn to adapt to life all over again. There are many reasons to these, but one of the main reasons is our ego. We just couldn’t face the world that my business has failed; my relationship has failed; I am old, and I am less able now; I do not have a good job or a good boss like others; I do not have a spouse like everyone else does etc.

We come to this world simply, but as we move on in life, we get smarter; our mind gets more complex; ironically we become more handicaps and disable. The Koi and Laurentia, both have not exposed to these worldly thingies, they only knew what they’ve had, what they need to do, and they learn to live with what they’ve had, and excel on it. Of cause, the Koi had me to provide her with the security and food; Laurentia had her parent showered her with love and all the basic needs.

So go on to live our life with what we already have; do not cry over those things that we do not have, or no longer have; and those of us who are able and fortunate, spare a little to bless those people who is less fortunate with love or whatever is abundant to us. In so doing, we will all achieve the eternal happiness and peace in life.

* Imperfection can be beautiful….

Imperfection can be useful; at times beautiful too… Hence enjoy our little imperfection, and be comfy with it…..

Nature has a way to balance our imperfection; hence have faith, and always learn to use what we’ve had, don’t long for something which we do not have….

*How can we apply law of precession to our relationship and stay happy….

Why we don’t get what we want?

Why most of us always experience set back in our life? Be it in work, relationship, business or even bringing up our kids etc.

The Law of Precession….

One of the main reasons is that we are quite ignorant of the Law of Precession.

The Law of Precession simply states that for every action we take there will be a side effect arising at 90 degree to the line of the our action.

I have extracted a part of the article from Stephanie Relfe to share with you here; hope that you could aware how the Law of Precession can influence the outcome of our action and change our destiny. For further reading, you can visit Stephanie Relfe @ www.relfe.com

The picture above shows what will happen when we drop a stone into the water. Ripples go out. The ripples are the side effect to the main action, which is the stone dropping into the water. And this ripples’ effect can be very large, as large as the Tsunami.

Another example is that the honey bees get up every morning, tirelessly flying from flower to flower to collect nectar to make honey for their living, but unknowingly the routine of these honey bees have a much more larger effect, that is pollinating the flowers, and enable the plant to reproduce, thus aiding in producing oxygen, food, eliminating global warming, and make life possible and comfortable for the entire living things on earth.

But do the Honey bees aware of this noble purpose? Chances are that they are not. Perhaps the ignorant of this profound purpose may have saved our planet earth.

Have you ever known of someone who just couldn’t stick to one line of work or action for long? The Law of Precession explains why this happens.

What happens when we get in the motion of action? The waves go out. Suddenly, off to the left and right the new opportunities appear.

So what do some people do? They get bored with what they’re doing, and go after the new things that they see. The trouble is, once they do that, the waves then go out again, to either side of their line of motion or action.

Again, they see new opportunities arise off to the side. Again they change direction.

This goes on forever

It’s not to say that this kind behavior is bad. It is good to experience many different things. But these people end up going around in circles. They never stick with any one thing long enough to become a MASTER at it. They don’t build up a network of contacts and a store of knowledge, expertise, wealth etc. to make as big a difference as they would have if they had stayed in roughly one direction for a longer period of time.

Now imagine the honey bees have changed their behavior, instead of tirelessly flying from flower to flower, because they realized that they could make more money out of the opportunities such as, producing oxygen, food etc, and decided to use that to control the plant or all the living things on earth. I am sure the earth would not be what it is today. Does this sound familiar to you?

“When money becomes the cause of what we do, we can easily compromise who we are and what we want to be. But if the money becomes the side effect of what we love to do, then we’re being true to ourselves” _{- John Kalench.}

What did Buckminster Fuller has to say?

Buckminster Fuller’s theory says that our job was not to make money. It was to add value to others. He believed that 70% of the jobs on earth were not directly contributing to the life-support of the people. Many are making money from money, or moving paper from one desk to another.

The key is balance. It is unbalanced to work only for money, and only for yourself and your family. It is also unbalanced to NOT work for yourself and your family, to work only for others.

While you are in your present job, work out how you can add value in your spare time. You are there for a reason.

I started doing things in the evenings and on the weekend. Eventually enough positive taps came into my life where I got a much better and higher paying job. And year’s later was able to work full time at what I loved to do.

“Find a Goal that Adds Value to others or to our planet earth, that you can commit to for at least 20 years….”

How can this apply to relationship?

Make your goal as doing something to add value to others or to our planet earth, and make your relationship as the side effect of your motion.

If you still feeling kind of lost, and do not know how to set that kind of goal that will add values to others or to our planet earth, I would suggest the following actionable.

1. Seek first to develop ourselves, before adding value to others.

· Always create room and capacity for ourselves and others to grow and expand unselfishly; and do not expect any return from others for our efforts.

· To encourage and be a source of motivation for each other to expand and be secured in our own worth.

· Accord appropriate and unconditional trust to others.

· Develop the ability to enjoy and be cofortable of being alone.

2. Understand all of us are made differently; we may have the same purpose in life, such as adding values to others or to our planet earth, but the paths and approaches in achieving it will be different; hence maintain our interest at heart while allowing others to pursue their interest.

Do not try to insist our values onto others, rather to be a brightly shining beacon that lights up their path ahead, so that they can clearly chose their own path and destiny, and be responsible for it.

3. Exercise caution when you are in “Power”. Don’t be too obssessed with being able to control. The only control we should be having is to be able to control our life. Believe in abudancy in life around us.

4. Learn to take action and make things happen; Don’t be afraid of failures, or problems. Understand that only through motion in action, we will have the side effects of happiness.

5. Learn to think simply and clearly. Have clarity of mind by practicing healthy self-talk by doing Zhineng Qigong, Meditation, Yoga, visiting spiritual places where positive energies are abundant.

6. Learn to self-support emotionally. Understand worldly material possessions are not forever. Learn to let go when possessions are not possible.

Travel light at all times, don’t carry too much baggage with us while in motion. It is very tiring and energy wasting if we have heavy baggage on our back while journeying through our life.

7. Understand that sex is free choice growing out of caring and friendship. Let it evolves naturally but be responsible of our action. Sex is not an avenue for contracting or trading loves, but rather the mutual enjoyment that enhance the relationship; the side effects of caring and enjoyable friendship. Another word, sex should never be our goal, but be the side effects.

* Is not able to see = not there… ?

This picture was not apparent to me when i first looked into my camera view finder; somehow, deep inside me, knew that it was there. This feeling was only possible by years of accumulation of many successful practices of believe.

Learn to sharpen and trust your feelings, as the man-kind, dispite all the scientific advances, still do not understand a lot of things existed in the world and universe right now…

My belief and action had brought out this vision of mine into reality…

Sometimes in life, we just need to make the decision to take the 1st step, every thing else could be a pleasant surprise so long we hold on to our faith, keep our passion, never give out, be mindful and enjoy the moment you have on hand….

Belief without action is as good as day dreaming; it only last while we’re asleep…

* Ordinary thing, extra-ordinary outcome……

Every one of us is born unqiuely with our own unique beautiful side; just like this normal looking Pineapple.

Don’t be discouraged if we have not discovered it yet. Keep looking till you find it one day; believe me, it is there…

* The ladder of life……

“The ladder of life is filled of splinters; you never realize it until you slide down.”  - Zig Ziglar

 

* The “beauty” is in the detail……..

“The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” – Henry Miller

* The beauty of our Nature’s creation…..

The shape and color of nature….

If only we can look at nature in a different perspective with our keener senses, we will never know how beautiful our nature is…..

 

 

* The wonder of Nature and colours…….

This is for you……

“See to believe or believe to see?”