The life journey…

Life is a journey, a journey that will allow us to grow to our fullest authentic self.

After lobbying through my life for almost 5 decades, I came to realize that the cosmic universe seem to have certain way to make us learn and grow towards our authentic self. The growth is very much within the boundaries of two governing laws; they are the Law of Social Living, which teaches us how to build relationship with the world around us, and the Law of Nature, which teaches us how to build relationship with ourselves.

how to live our life…

When we were born, our parent did not give us any user manual or operating manual on how to live and discover our life purpose. Why is that so?

This is because no one really knows our future, not even our mighty cosmic universe. We are not pre-destined to be what we are today or in future, we are what we are today because of the decisions we’d made in the past. We shape our own destiny, our fate is in our hand and it is our own responsibility to make our life more meaningful and happy; it is not the responsibility of our spouse, children, friends or our government to make us happy.

We, human being, are meant to explore and discover our own destiny in life. Having said that, the cosmic universe did not leave us alone either, we are all pre-programmed by nature to follow the two life learning and exploration processes. First, is the process of learning how to build relationship with the external world; second is the process of learning how to build relationship with our inner world.

our life graph…

If you refer to my graph above, all of us will have two distinct learning processes in our life, the blue and red processes. The graphs are not pre-destined, the processes are.

The blue process enables us to integrate into our society expeditiously and it is governed by the law of Social Living. The red process is for us to discover who we really are and what we really want to be in life, and is governed by the law of Nature.

All of us started (in the blue process) in this world learning how to adapt to the external environment in the first part of our life.  This is important to our survival as we are a creature of communal living, hence learning to build relationship with others and the environment around us is critical in order to enable each one of us as a human being to co-exist in harmony and protect our well-being.

Phenomenon in mid life…

As we move on towards our mid life, we start to experience another phenomenon (the red process), which will inevitably lead us to look inward for a solution to the worldly issues that bothering us. We started to examine all the past events in our life, we can even reflect back to as far as our childhood time, and trying to make sense out of it.

the crisis…

The mid life crisis begins when we start to look inward (the initiation of the red process) for a profound answer to all our confusions in life. It will only be over when our awareness of our inner world takes a balance with the external world and beyond.

The initiation point of us looking inward varies from one person to another. In addition, I realized that people are having a mid life crisis as early as late 20s, possibly due to heighten awareness through internet access and well-informed education system.

On the other hand, I also realized that people are staying longer in the period of crisis, hence prolong the agony and suffering within ourselves.

why mid life…

Mid-life period is essential to us in order to lead a balance life. The more we understand about our own inner world, the better outlook of life will be. We will eventually reach a stage where by we are responsible for our own destiny and happiness.

A traditinal woman’s graph…

In a traditional relationship, a woman tends to suppress their red curve and live their life around her man. That is okay if she so decide whole heartedly and unconditionally.

if we can’t live life around another person…

If a woman can’t live her life around her man, she has to find a partner whom is willing to compromise his blue curve and learn to live his life around his woman (compromising partnership), or be single and has many friends for her emotional support.

Both logical and morally acceptable options mentioned above are not easy to find in today’s world where women have more aspiration to seek fulfillment like man to live and grow their life to their fullest authentic self.

the proposition…

The rate of dysfunctional family is on the rise in an alarming manner. In order not to discourage men and women to set up a ‘new world’ family, where two individual man and woman can be themselves in a marriage, we need a revolutionary change in our mindset toward a happy marriage. I would challenge you to think that every man and woman, if you cannot find a perfect partner to set up your family, consider to allow your wife/husband to have a lover in their life. That is to say, look for a responsible husband/wife who can allow you to be your own authentic self, to set up your family, and a lover, based on unconditional chemistry with no string attached, to compliment what he/she lack of in the marriage.

Summary…

In summary, is mid life a crisis or rebirth? It is very much depending upon our perspective towards it. Whatever the case, it is a necessary transition in our life. Since we cannot avoid it, why not learn to treat it as a rebirth; enjoy the transition and works towards a better life ahead.