* selfish vs selfless…

The guru’s definition of Selfish & Selfless…

Self-ishness denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one’s own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others. Selfishness is the opposite of altruism (Self-lessness).

The implications of selfishness have inspired divergent views within religious, philosophical, psychological, economic and evolutionary contexts.

Self-lessness is the act of sacrificing ones own interest for the greater good.

Altruism is having regard for others, both natural and moral, devotion to the interests of others; It is a traditional virtue in many cultures, and central to many religious traditions. This idea was often described as the Golden rule of ethics. Altruism is the opposite of self-ishness.

Altruism can be distinguished from feelings of loyalty and duty. Altruism focuses on a motivation to help others or a want to do good without reward, while duty focuses on a moral obligation towards a specific individual (for example, God, a king), a specific organization (for example, a government), or an abstract concept (for example, patriotism etc). Some individuals may feel both altruism and duty, while others may not. Pure altruism is giving without regard to reward or the benefits of recognition.

The concept has a long history in philosophical and ethical thought, and has more recently become a topic for psychologists (especially evolutionary psychology researchers), sociologists, evolutionary biologists, and etiologists. While ideas about altruism from one field can have an impact on the other fields, the different methods and focuses of these fields lead to different perspectives on altruism. Researches on altruism were sparked in particular after the murder of Kitty Genovese in 1964, who was stabbed during half an hour, with passive witnesses withholding themselves from helping her.

Why are we selfish or selfless?

We do everything for a reason – everything we do is done because it is what we WANT to do or else we wouldn’t do it. Therefore all of our actions are working towards the satisfaction of our desires, be it to seek pleasure or to avoid pain. The school of thought is that the reason people do good things is because it feels good to do so and is therefore, like everything else, is a selfish act. There are selfish acts that help others and those that harm others (traditional understanding of the word ‘selfish’) Sometimes people want to help each other because they know that if they don’t they will be chastised later, or they know that they will receive praise or gifts if they do. Other times people do good or selfless things just because it feels good, but why? Why does it feel good to help others and feel bad to not help them?

Ayn Rand’s Philosophy on Objectivitism has brought another interesting perspective to selfishness of mankind.

Objectivism (Ayn Rand) is a philosophy developed by Ayn Rand in the 20th century that encompasses positions on metaphysics, epistemology, ethics, politics, and aesthetics.

The philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute.

— Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged 35th anniversary edition

Ayn Rand characterized Objectivism as a philosophy for living on earth, grounded in reality, and aimed at defining man’s nature and the nature of the world in which he lives. Rand presented her philosophy through her novels The Fountainhead, Atlas Shrugged, and other works. She elaborated on her ideas in The Objectivist Newsletter, The Objectivist, The Ayn Rand Letter, Introduction to Objectivist Epistemology, and other non-fiction books.

Objectivism holds that reality exists independent from consciousness; that individual persons are in contact with this reality through sensory perception; that human beings can gain objective knowledge from perception through the process of concept formation; that the proper moral purpose of one’s life is the pursuit of one’s own happiness or rational self-interest; that the only social system consistent with this morality is full respect for individual rights, embodied in pure, consensual laissez-faire capitalism; and that the role of art in human life is to transform man’s widest metaphysical ideas, by selective reproduction of reality, into a physical form — a work of art — that he can comprehend and respond to.

My personal thought on the subject is that being selfish or selfless are two extreme oppose characteristics that most of us, the ordinary people, will not be happy if we only possess one behavior all the time, either absolutely selfish or selfless. For example, how many of us can stay happy to be a truly selfless person like Buddha or Jesus?

Being selfish or selfless behavior is closely associated with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It is a natural survival behavior or instinct that for people who are struggling to make ends meet are less likely to exhibit Selfless behavior; people who are contented and comfortable in the upper level of hierarchy are more likely to share, and more inclined to exhibit selflessness behavior.

Again, no one will know, except ourselves if we are truly a selfless or a selfish person. To pass our judgment based on third party observation can be deceiving, because this selfless or selfish behavior is about our inner-self and thoughts. We can only guess or assume others’ thoughts based on the observable behaviors on the surface, but still an association, and it is not an absolute truth. Hence don’t judge people, if we do, most probably we are wrong. A Self-ish act can be good, and a Self-less act can be deceiving too.

To me, being selfish or being selfless in the world we live in today, has to be carefully balance in context dependant upon the situation we are in. Therefore, how well and happy we live our life, or how successful we do our daily routines, is not about being selfish or selfless, but more so dependant upon how well we know ourselves (the purpose and values); how well we appraise the situation around us; and how well we use our acquired skills to balance it. And all these will not be possible also if we are not sensually connected, confident and competent.

To live a balance, meaningful, and a happy life, I am more inclined to advocate a good balance of the two. For example, if we are, by nature, a more self-ish person, we need to consciously cultivate and nourish the right amount of self-lessness in us. In the theory of “YinYang”, it simply means “Self-LESS within a self-ISH entity”. Vice verse is also true.

Well, by far this is a very complex subject, where the gurus of the past and present have many different thoughts and disagreement upon the issues. Hence I would encourage the ordinary people like us not to waste our precious times and energy to decide something where the gurus can’t even synthesized.

Hence, moving on with our life journey ahead, start to self-ishly focus on developing ourselves, know who we are, and what are we here for, until we reach a level where we’re competent enough to self-lessly share and add value to others and/or the environment around us.

Never stop learning about ourselves and the environment around us; as life is a journey not a destination; the people and the environment around us are constantly changing too; the day we stop learning, it is the day we die, either we are buried or not, it doesn’t matter.

There are more of the “living dead” around us then we think. Hence don’t be influenced by these “living dead”, go on to live our life by treasuring every present moment that we have, and live our day to the fullest, and stay happy.